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It Ain’t About You
Episode No. 26

Love isn’t something that God does, it is something He is. If you are going to imitate God in how He loves people, we’ve got to spend a lot more time thinking about people than we do about ourselves. Not an easy task, but an important one if we are going to love our neighbor as ourselves. More of Jesus and less of us.

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Josh: Friends over and like have a big party that it’s election day. And that would be fun, but we’re locking down again here in Colorado.

And I think it’s like limited to families are allowed to be together and they have to social disk, 2000 feet. It’s this weird rule. They call it a maid. It’s not really 2000 feet, 2000 feet.

Andrew: It’d be like kicking people out of neighborhoods. Like, no, no,

Josh: you can

Andrew: wait your house full in the next 11 and a half to be empty.

Josh: Crazy. Feed her in a mile 50. So that’s almost half a mile.

Andrew: What’d you say? Oh man. Yeah. Well, I don’t know. Uh, yeah, we’re not having a party over here either. Um, I started

Josh: forever though.

Andrew: No,

Josh: no. Well, we’ve like,

Andrew: we’ve got people together many times, allegedly,

Josh: um, alleged you can’t put that out there,

Andrew: but, uh, but anyway, um, this morning I got up at 6:00 AM, which feels like a big deal.

Cause it’s now daylight savings time over here. And it was dark when I got up. And dude, I went out in the woods behind my place and sat in my deer stand for awhile.

Josh: So that was, we were doing that.

Andrew: That was a good way to start election day.

Josh: Have you, have you gotten anything?

Andrew: Not yet.

Josh: You started doing this a while ago, right?

Andrew: I really just put my stand up like a week ago, ish, a little before that. So this was my first day hunting in there. Um, so for the next


Josh: phrases that, that you live in a place where you can hunt in your backyard.

Andrew: Um, it’s awesome. It’s awesome. Um, I didn’t see anything cause it was really windy. Um, but I mean it’s awesome squirrels and stuff, but it was still just really nice to be in the woods.

When the sun came up, I was like, that’s the way to start election day right there. And then I’d be rated my chickens for not voting. Like, what’s your problem? You know, like didn’t even know it’s election day, that’s 15 votes.

Josh: They probably don’t even care.

Andrew: Dude. They don’t know. They live in a swing state.

They have no idea

Josh: for swing state at that. That’s right. It is pretty heavily contested out there. Now I live in Colorado. We’re not contested at all.

Andrew: You’re like, we just care

Josh: about

Andrew: the rest of the country.

Josh: Yeah. The polling did look better for our Senate race. That could be contested. Um, but yeah, not the president.

Biden’s gonna take the state pretty quickly. Yeah. Yeah,

Andrew: dude. It is just one real quick question to just start this off. Is cereal soup. Why or why not?

Josh: Cereal soup. I dunno. I had a doughnut yesterday that had cereal on it. That was very nice. That was sent to me.

Andrew: Did you eat it with milk? By chance?

Josh: No, I don’t like milk.

Um, actually sear cereal is probably the only place we’ll actually put milk in, but it’s pretty limited, uh, just enough to get things wet. Cause uh, milk is just, it’s gross. I’m not a fan, but it’s cereal soup. I don’t know what the definition of soup is.

One of those guys that like, I always aspire to drive, to eat soup, to drink soup, to eat soup. Like Mike. Yeah. Soup sounds great. So I’ll buy it and then it goes bad. By the time I ever get around to doing it, like eating, I’m just, I don’t know. I just, I can’t get around soup, I guess. Can you get around soup?

Andrew: You’re just not a soup guy. More of a South guy.

Josh: Yeah. I will eat, like I will eat like, um, Uh, chicken tortilla soup at like restaurants. That’s pretty good. Yeah. With like a dollar, both. Of sour cream in it. Humble said Mayo, that’s not what you want in your bed.

Andrew: Maybe that’s why you’re not

Josh: the office episode wrong.

That’s probably the issue. I was like, yeah, it just tastes like Manet’s. And we’re like, why? Well, if you don’t put Manny’s and it wouldn’t taste like Manet’s, you’re like, Oh, that’s fair.

Uh, there’s that Michael Scott episode, where. He’s depressed about some or that office episode with Michael Scott? Uh, he’s depressed about something. I don’t remember what it was. Uh, so he’s eating, uh, what looks like ice cream at the break room table. Um, and I think, uh, Jim and Pam walk in or something and they’re consoling him and, um, they’re like, Oh, you’re eating ice cream.

He’s like, no, we didn’t have any ice cream. And they’re like, what’s that? It’s like, what was it? Raisins and Manet’s.

Oh, that’d be worse for Ron.

Andrew: Oh

Josh: man. Oh. That’s bad.

Andrew: I just recently starting like liking mail at all, like BLTs, but Janna, my wife does homemade Mayo and it’s like really good. We had that with, uh, like our eggs to make Mayo, our tomatoes, not our bacon. Cause I know pig. But on homemade bread. So we had like three out of the four pieces of a

Josh: VAT.


Andrew: pretty impressive.

Josh: They were really good. We did that

Andrew: a few times this summer and it was what’s up.

Josh: I don’t like tomatoes, so I wouldn’t be a fan, but, um, that’s funny. That’s pretty, that’s pretty impressive to be able to have that much on your little homestead there. I told you I was going to talk about this on the podcast.

It’s not the next question. I’ll come up with questions in a second. Um, but we were talking before we got on that, your wife started a prank on you that you’re, I think you’re just coming to realize that you have a little indebt on your hairline. Yeah. So it looks like a w and I’m going to say, you knew this, you know this, but your wife has been shaving the top of your head while you sleep.

I wish I,

Andrew: if I woke up one day and realized she had, I would honestly be relieved. Cause I feel like all the skin come back, you know? Um, at this point

Josh: I can give you, I look pretty rough, like a pretty. Uh, defined widow’s peak. So maybe I can send you some of my widow’s peak. Um, I’m showing Andrew right now.

My head was right there and watch it and fill it in. Uh, but my hair is gross. It’s even like, Oh, I need to somewhere

Andrew: I haven’t just w cause it dips on the sides.

Josh: And it’s like, if we put our hairs together, we’d become one. We

Andrew: both look normal.

Josh: Uh, crazy crazy craziness. Hey, I have a question for you, Andrew.

Cause I’m looking through all these questions. Just trying to find one, that’s going to make you uncomfortable. Um, the best I possibly can. Yeah. Uh, so I’m curious what the most sexiest name is and what the least sexy his name is in general. Like in just your opinion, like when you hear names, you’re like, Oh, Oh, that’s a sexy dude.

And then you hear names where you’re like, Mm, not sexy. Maybe it’s like this. So you’re like on the phone and like this, this girl’s talking with you and whatever that name is, and you’re like, Oh, she’s so sick. And then you meet her in real life and you’re like, Oh, okay. Did you used to be a man? Um, that was rude.

I’m sorry. I apologize to all women out there, especially ones that look like, man,

Andrew: I’m not going to, I don’t know an answer to the most sexy, but I think for least sexy. I’m just going to say Bruce AKA, Caitlin,

Josh: Bruce. I forgot about Bruce to Caitlin, but just really a

Andrew: really tainted all

Josh: Bruce’s

Andrew: for me forever and all

Josh: it’s like any name like that, Tom.

Bill. Yeah, Bob probably just very unsexy names. Maybe the women they’re super sexy. Maybe no,

Andrew: maybe short and simple.

Josh: I think the sexiest name out there in all honesty is, is Josh. Um, just from what I’ve read, um, I think that’s a pretty sexy name, I think for you, for you, the easy win though, your wife doesn’t listen to us.

It wouldn’t be that you could say, yeah, you’d be like Giana is the most sexiest. Yeah. But she would never hear it. So it doesn’t matter.

Andrew: Bro. Would you rather, um, streak through an election polling place? Um, like during an election day?

Josh: Yes. Or not on election day

Andrew: or, or not on election day. Right. Or stand up and have a very personal argument with the preacher in a church service that’s full.

Josh: Personal for him or personal for me,

Andrew: personal for you, personal for you.

Josh: Yeah. Hands, hands down. I’d be, I’d be in it. Yeah.

Andrew: That’s that’s not super balanced, but, uh,

Josh: yeah. Yeah. I mean, I pers personal conversation hands down. That’s easier than running through some of those election polling places or at churches don’t want to run through a church.

Andrew: Yes.

Josh: Right. It’s like, I just feel like God would say no to that one. It stop it. I’m not really sure what that, yeah. Um, here’s, here’s the next question for you, Andrew and I, and this is a serious question. Um, has me super curious, um, if you were arrested with no explanation, Uh, now you have it, like they’ve told you why they’ve rested you.

Cause that’s the right thing to do. But for anyone else, which would include your friends and family, they’re not told what you’ve done. What would they have assumed you did?

Andrew: I can’t, I can’t be too sure. I gotta think that if Janet got the call of. Andrew we arrested your husband, you know, uh, like in the, they paused and didn’t say why for a minute. I think she would assume I did something really stupid while driving, you know?

Josh: Um,

Andrew: I gotta think that would be the assumption. No idea.

Josh: What would,

Andrew: what would your people think, man?

Josh: I know I was just thinking, I don’t know. What would. I never do well with these. I assume people would think of the things and they’re like, nah, we thought this right.

Andrew: That’s the, that’s a hard question. Let’s be honest.

Josh: Yeah. I don’t think I put a cross like drug vibes, so I don’t think they would assume drugs.

Right. Um, I may put across murder vibes. I’m not really sure. They might assume that. I guess it’s like, what’s the tone of the cops voice that called? Does it seem really serious or is it like, come pick up, come pick up Josh. Yeah, I don’t, uh, maybe like embezzling or something. Maybe I’m like stealing money.

I need to be a part of an organization that has a lot of money that I have access to for that teacher, I guess. And not, I’m not getting any money any day soon. Uh, yeah, that’s probably probably like. I don’t know, salt or cars. That seems true to you. Like going way too fast, but I’m not really known as a speeder.

Um, I would hope that my people would think what they’re in shock. Josh has been arrested. That seems so out of the ordinary, not like, Oh, it’s just a matter of time. Like, yeah, that would make me feel better then. Oh, that makes sense. He should have went to prison.

Andrew: I’d be surprised if you were in prison, you know, I would assume.

Uh, some joke, I would assume there was a mistake at first. I’d give you, you know, the best assumption possible.

Josh: We used to take students to a Winslow Arizona for a mission camp. So like half camp, half mission trip, um, and the pastor of the church will be partnered with down. There was my youth pastor growing up.

So before we like started doing these trips, we went down with a group and did like a vision trip just to kind of check out the city and figure out details and all that kind of stuff. Um, and we went to a Sunday morning service and then that serves, and it’s a church of, there’s probably like 200 in the service, I would assume.

Um, they have a couple of services, uh, and he has me stand up. Uh, and they introduce me to the congregation. You know, my youth pastor, Oh, this is Josh. He’s been one of my students. He’s a pastor now. Uh, we always thought he’d ended up in prison. Which I don’t know if he’s trying to be funny in that moment, but you know, I’m like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, wait a second.

What, like how bad of a child did you think I was? I’d ended up in prison. Um, so that was always a little offensive. That’s right. Whatever you thought I would what? Oh, yeah, right? Yeah. Like how it’s like you’re either prison or ministry, such a thing. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. Dude.

Josh: What

Andrew: are we talking about today, bro? I know relationships.

I know that

Josh: we are talking about our relationships since we have been for this entire season. Right. Um, and digging into this whole idea and concept of, you know, the greatest commandments are love God and love each other. And so we should probably be really good at both. Um, and uh, someone. Said to me a little while back, they drew a diagram.

I think I’ve shared this before, but I’ll share it again. Cause it’s been a couple of weeks, um, shared a diagram on, on a whiteboard and there was a vertical arrow. Pointing up and down. And there was a horizontal arrow pointing left to, right. So the vertical arrow represents your relationship with God out of 10.

Like how deep should this relationship be? And Aaron was like, Oh, that’s easy. It should be a 10. Like that should be the goal. And then, then the horizontal line was, was drawn and said, okay, if this is the relationship between one another, um, how deep should these relationships be? And it went pretty quiet, pretty fast, uh, because everyone knew the answer.

Um, but at the same time, relationships are really hard and they didn’t want to answer with a 10 because that means there’s a higher standard that we’re called to live. And I think that’s the hired Sandor as followers of Jesus that we’re called to live on where we should be relationship experts. We should be really good at this.

Um, so we’re digging into how do we love one another really well, and we’ve been covering, um, Uh, first Corinthians 13, uh, the first, I think, eight verses if I remember correctly. Yeah. Um, what we call the love verses he may have heard these verses read at a wedding or something like that. Um, but we’re digging into this.

Isn’t just a romantic relationships or marriage relationships. This is all relationships. We should be really good at these things. So over the last, so many episodes, this is six, the last six episodes. Um, We’ve been digging into this for the season. Um, so if you haven’t had an opportunity to go back, please do and check out, you know, love is patient love is kind.

It does not envy. It does not boast. It’s not self-seeking Nope. I missed one. I’m trying to do off the top of my head. Uh,

both. Yeah, it’s not self-seeking it’s slow to anger. Uh, what’s the next one?

Andrew: Uh, wait. Love is patient love is kind, does not. Envy does not. Boast is not proud,

Josh: does not dishonor. It is not selfish,

Andrew: dude. And you have this on your desk

Josh: failure. No, no, no. This wasn’t the verse on my desk. It was Philippians four, four, six was only death.

Don’t worry about anything,

Andrew: but it’s not self-seeking. That’s where we’re at.

Josh: Oh, you had these verses at your house. Wasn’t it, you didn’t, you know, I’m

Andrew: having written no, no, no. That’s the fruit of the spirit.

Josh: Um,

Andrew: that was the fruit of the spirit sitting around the kitchen.

Josh: That’s fair. Yep. But yeah,

Andrew: we’re talking about not being self-seeking today.

That love is

Josh: not, it ain’t it ain’t about you

Andrew: hanging,

Josh: which let’s be honest is one of the hardest lessons to learn, right. As a human being, because. It’s always about like, we’re so good at making it about us. Um, it’s funny to me, I’ve this constantly with my team, um, at work that someone will go into talking or we’ll be talking about a topic and then somehow someone has twisted that topic around to be about them.

They do it constantly. Um, which, and now you just laugh at it. You’re just like, that’s just, that’s just funny. Uh, but it’s true. We’re all this way. Like maybe it’s not as. Obvious that you’re turning it around about you, but. Like taking care of Josh is numero UNO, number one priority. And Josh slides like that’s just on a minute or not.

That is true. Even if it’s like, no, I serve everybody around me. There’s a good chance that you do it because it makes you feel good. Like, Hmm. Yeah. Probably some piece to it,

Andrew: I think are huge employee meetings. Like, I dunno if you guys have all, all staffs, I know you just got bought by another company. So you’re now in a part of a bigger company, but when we have like the total all-staff meeting, I’m like, okay, which.

10% of this hour and a half really applies to me, you know, like how much actually applies to me. Like there there’s a lot of good stuff in there typically, but yeah, my ears perk up on anything that I’m like, Oh, that’s that applies to marketing. Like I get that, you know, that’s going to affect

Josh: you. So now just say my name.

Exactly. Yeah, no joke. I may or may not be a part of a secret Slack channel. That mocks that was designed just to mock her, our company-wide stand-ups

Andrew: allegedly, allegedly

Josh: you might, may or may not put you in, I’m not sure

Andrew: may or may not exist.

Josh: Yeah, mayor, it probably does make sense. Don’t go looking if you’re one of our Slack administrators, that’d be bad

Andrew: for, it’s been the best

Josh: everybody involved.

But yeah. So we’re, we’re talking about this idea and I think, I think it’s a hard thing to identify, right. Um, Internally like for yourself. I think it’s a hard thing to identify of. Like, what’s my real motives behind. Yeah. Whatever I’m doing in this moment, relationship tasks, whatever happens to be. Um, but I think it’s easier for other people to identify Dennis.

They’re like, Josh, really? Yeah. Are you really trying to do this? Um, and my first thought was like, if it’s not, self-seeking, what’s the opposite of self seeking. And I was like, well, it’s selfish selflessness. Um, like if we’re just selfless more. Um, but I, I think that’s difficult too. Play out, um, in terms of.

What does that really look like? You think we can be, we can create a facade of selflessness and I’m not actually selfless. Um, but there’s an article that, that I posted in our show notes that, um, talks about it’s the answer to self. Ishness is not selflessness. It’s love. Yeah. Um, so how do we actually, and genuinely love those.

We come in contact with and care for them. Well, now this goes back to the verses that we’ve been courting, the great commandments, um, that, you know, the answer is love. Like the only way I’m going to not be self-seeking, um, is I have to love those around me better. Um, yeah. Then I love myself and that makes it makes things hard.

Andrew: And the, the really hard thing about that. I do think we’re all kind of hardwired to be selfish. Um, I say hardwired, but like when a baby cries it’s because they’re hungry or they need to have their diaper change. And we kind of, we progress past that to some degree, but then. At some point, like we all, we all know what it means to be hangry, you know, like, Oh, sorry.

I was just angry at you and snapped at you because well, I’m hungry. So of course, like I get a pass, you know, like we all do that.

Josh: Yeah. This has nothing to do with our conversation, but did Snickers like coined that phrase hangry? I don’t know. I don’t know if they coined is relatively new phrase, right?

Like we’re talking less than five, 10 years. I would. It was like, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. I would think so. But

Josh: like, while you continue your thought, I’m Googling that.

Andrew: Okay. You check it out, find out the origins of hangry, but yeah, man, I, I just think a lot of us, I think being selfish is kind of like at our base, because at some degree you have to like, Make sure you’re fed, make sure you have a place to sleep.

Like you have to kind of look out for yourself a little bit in this life

Josh: to just

Andrew: function, you know, but like the reality is, um, that is a part of our culture to a huge degree of like, I mean, I looked down and like, I have this really nice iPhone. That’s like a crazy amount of money for a phone. Um, I use a lot, but I’m like, I don’t need, I don’t need that.

Like something in me motivated me to be like, I need the new one. You know, actually it was a buy one, get one free deal.

Josh: So you got the brand new phone? No, no, this was the new phone. When I got it.

Andrew: It was the 11. So this is like one,

Josh: when you got the 12th. Yeah, it was like, you have the phone and I don’t thing

Andrew: that did happen for like that one day though, when I texted you, I’m like, dude, I have a newer iPhone than you.

This has never happened. It will never happen again.

Josh: And then, um, I went directly out to Apple and no problem.

Andrew: And you got the, the 12 early?

Josh: Um, no,

Andrew: no, dude. I am. I don’t know. I guess all I’m trying to say is selfishness is, is pretty normal, I think, to the human condition, um, for a lot of reasons, But here’s the thing it’s not normal to just go.

Okay, Josh. Okay. Andrew, stop being selfish. Just love other people better. Like that’s the just love people. Stop being selfish. Like I just tell my daughter, Hey, you just need to love people. Better stop being selfish. She would look at me and just be like, But give me that cookie, you know, that’s I want that,

Josh: that’s fine.

I’ll do that. But give me the cookie of course,

Andrew: but I need that, that, does he roll or dude, she’s been all about candy corn for the last week or two because

Josh: of the horn. Really?

Andrew: We had some in a bowl and she found out it was there and it was just like a homing beacon. Like always we had to dump the whole bowl eventually, but, um, but dude.

I was thinking about what moves you from being selfish, kind of as a kid, to being like able to function better in life. And I think a lot of it is discipline, um, honestly, and maybe just maturing and understanding. Okay, I got to wait for things. I can’t always be selfish. I can’t always have my needs met first, but like, I don’t know.

The opposite of, of selfishness probably is love, but I don’t know. The easy way to get there. So for somebody to living in selfishness, how do they become less selfish, truly like, do you know, do you follow, like, do you just start going to food pantries and like you recognize, do you know, I’m really just about myself.

So I need to like figure out how to go and serve, to make, to intend. It’s only not about myself. Like,

Josh: I don’t know what part of it

Andrew: is. It’s what I’m trying to say.

Josh: Yeah. I think part of it is. Yeah. So we talk about this terminology in the church all the time. We, you know, maturing in Christ, um, you know, becoming a mature believer.

Um, but the  of it are lacking. Yeah. Like everyone, it has a different definition. There’s not really a solid one. Some of it is based on full knowledge transfer of topics and conversations. Others is based all on, um, experience of certain things. Um, or. Spiritual gifts. Like, you know, there’s denominations that believe without speaking in tongues, you’re not spiritual mature.

Um, so there’s things like that. I think maturity, um, and how I would define it is how well do I love God and love people more. So if that’s what I’m leaning likes, what I’m trying to chase after, um, over the thing with maturity is it doesn’t happen overnight. Right. Like there’s not one day I’m a kid and then the next day I’m a matured.

That’s just not how it works. So there is a process that has to happen. Um, and I think this is where we’ll throw out. I’ll throw out a big term here and you’ve probably heard it before you spend any time in the church, but of sanctification. Um, so it’s essentially of God molding us into who he is, um, becoming Holy, um, separated sinless.

Creation. Um, now that we’re not going to see the fullness of that until, you know, we, we get to our new creation of, of being in heaven. But, um, uh, getting back to just now, like, I think there’s a piece of that. So maturing is going to take time. Um, I think Christians in general, aren’t maturing in their relationship with Jesus and relationship with one another.

Um, and this is why you see churches stagnant. This is why you see, uh, faith at a shallow levels across Christianity, specifically in the United States. Um, like this is one of those lacking things is there’s no maturity nobody’s growing. No one’s taking calculated risks for their faith, um, to do great things.

No one’s taking strides to deepen under deepen their understanding of how to love. Either neighbor or love their spouse or loved their children and would love their coworkers or love those. They come in contact with better. Um, so I think there’s a piece of that. So I say all this to say, this may be the goal.

You’re not going to get there overnight. There’s a journey involved. Um, but I think a least taking the first right next step is, is the right, is the right thing to do. Um, so first, first step would be like, Evaluating yourself. Well, how selfless am I? Um, like how, how often does my self-preservation does my self desires?

I don’t know if that’s a thing, but I just made it the thing we’ll put a hyphen between it desires selfish desires. Um, so it’s a real word now. Um, does my, um, um, Passions, like does I, do I come first, most often in my life. Yeah. Um, so I think it’s probably the first step towards it. At least identify, Hey, there may be some problems here.

I may not be as selfless as, as I am, as I think I am. Um, I think there’s some other telltale signs. Like how frustrated do you get with people around you? Um, is probably a sign of you’re pretty selfish individual, uh, because you can’t accept them with where they are. Um, Uh, I think anger is a huge key in a lot of, in a lot of venues.

Um, now there’s righteous anger, and we’ll talk about that next week when we get into anger. But, um, in general, like I would say if you’re getting angry a lot, uh, it’s more about you than it is about other people. Um, you’re not loving people. Um, well, uh, I think too, like, can we look at Jesus six as a gambles now I’m just thinking off the top of my head.

Um, Can we look at Jesus’s examples of just how he lived this life and what did selflessness look for him? Look like for him? Like how did he not love in such a way that he was getting things in? I think that’s part of it. Like, are you getting anything in return? I don’t think it’s a lot of what Jesus did in this life.

He didn’t get anything in return. He just did it because it was the right thing to do, or it was the right thing for the mission to do. Um, it wasn’t had anything to do with him. Like I think of his moment and necessity, um, right before he was arrested and eventually crucified. And just that conversation that he had with, with God, the father, um, and one of his statements were like, if, if this cup can pass from me, is any other way, can you do that?

Yes. But yet your will will be done. God. Hmm. So there’s a, there’s a high level of selflessness and the other part of that, and we’ll probably get to these verses in Philippians two, because we get to them almost every episode as we talk about pride and all these other things that all come back to humility.

Um, but when we get into these things, like you got to remember, like here’s, here’s God himself, um, like fully man, fully God, Jesus, that. Had all power. If he chose to exercise, it could have stopped it if he chose to exercise it, but this is what had to be done. Um, so there’s that moment of like, here is all powerful, almighty, all knowing God submitting himself to the will of the father.

Right. Um, so you and I can be back in restored relationship with God himself. So I think there’s that piece to it too.

Andrew: That’s good, man. I know it’s hard.

Josh: I know it’s hard to compare it to Jesus. It is standard so high, but

Andrew: as you were talking, something hit me. I know. And I was genuinely asking the question of how do you get from here to there to be kind of, to recognize?

I think it probably takes the Holy spirit revealing, uh, an area in my life for me to recognize that I’m selfish in it. Um, yeah. And he’s done that kind of recently. So I’ll tell you about that. In a minute, um, in some level of detail, but, um, my boss told me a while back about this, like when he was in, um, I think he got a masters of divinity and one of the kind of things that they had to do is as part of their, one of their, I think capstone classes was like, Going through these spiritual disciplines and like really living them out.

And one was the discipline of slowing, um, is what they called it. So like, if you’re at the grocery store and you see like, Oh, that line has one person, this line has three, I’m going to go get in the line with three. And I’m going to force myself to slow down, same thing with the gas pump. Or like, if you’re walking through an airport and you’re naturally a fast Walker, like.

I’m going to walk in the slow person and I’m going to give him space and I’m going to

Josh: just

Andrew: slow myself down and let, whatever comes up, kind of comes up and then have a conversation with God about that. Let my impatience be dulled, I guess. Um, so I thought of that a bunch of times, cause it was recently on a trip I flew from, um, you know, where I lived to Phoenix and back.

So like all the way across the country. Um, and. She gotta be honest, dude. I thought about that a bunch of times throughout the airport experience. And I didn’t choose lowing at all. Cause I’m like, I just want to get where I’m going. Um, but then one thing I did do, um, so I feel like. I’m

Josh: pretty positive that did.

Did, did you do a do-do?

Andrew: I did do a do-do.

Josh: One thing I did do was the dude. I don’t know why that was funny to me, but as you said, we’re over here

Andrew: talking about spiritual maturity.

Josh: He’s still a 12 year old boy inside. Let’s be honest. I think your thing is big D muggy, Josh . Yeah, it’s funny.

Andrew: It’s cute. Uh, killing me.

Josh: Um, it might not be funny to you listening, but it’s funny to us.

Andrew: It’s funny. Yes, but I was, I was journaling a little bit on the way out because, uh, like three or four weeks back, God told me that this year is like the year of focus. I don’t have a great word. Like I did for the year of chickens. Which actually lasted like two years.

But, um, so I was journaling about the year of focus and, uh, and like writing down some kind of questions to ask myself of like, if I’m going to make that decision, you know, does it, does it build up my relationship with God? Does it make me a better husband? Does it make me a better father? Like, those are the kind of the categories of focus.

God husband father. Um, so like one question to ask myself, is this leading me into better relationship with God or in descent, you know, further, closer, further, uh, will this make me more like the man that my wife deserves me to be? Um, am I building up my daughter into the person that I wanted to be with this decision?

Like that type of stuff. So like, I’m trying to. And I, I broke down like eight or 10 of these, and I’m trying to come up with a few that are just really sharp and stick in my mind so that when I’m about to make a decision for over the next 12 months to two years, I can just think of it quickly and be like, well, does it do that?

Does it do that? It’s okay. It’s a good decision towards the year of focus or it’s a bad decision, you know? Um, so maybe it’s something like that where like, if God reveals you’re selfish, then. He’s also going to reveal a way out from under that. I don’t think he ever like shows us our sin just so we can hang out in it or feel bad

Josh: about it.

I think he

Andrew: shows it to us and then also gives us the strength to get out of it or a path to get out of

Josh: it. So, yeah. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I think, and this comes back to our relationship with Jesus in general. Like this is how it should function. Like it should be conversation. It should be back and forth.

Um, Uh, when we’re having it, it, it, it should be corrective and encouraging all at the same time. Um, and I think we miss out on a lot of that. Uh, oftentimes, uh, I think

I’ll say it this way, and I’m just saying this off my top of my head. I have no scriptural backing for this, um, in this moment, but I think this may be true. Um, I think if you feel like you’re being convicted of sin and yet you don’t have a way out of that sin, that’s just the enemy trying to beat you.

Hmm. I don’t think God is in the business of just convicting you to convict you because God cares a lot more about you than your sin. Yeah. Um, so much. So the scripture tells us that in the midst of our sin, Christ still died for us. Um, so there’s this piece of it, of, of if God is in it and God is correct correcting behavior disciplining, um, then the behavior of these correcting, there’s a way to overcome and push, push through it all.

So seek Jesus more for clarity and understanding. Um, I think there’s a piece of it in that. So. And I don’t know it for so long. I used to be on, on the school of thought that the goal is, um, the goal is to sin less like as a Christian, my goal is to send less and that’s not the goal. The goal is to love Jesus more and to love people more.

That’s the goal. Jesus was very clear about it. The greatest commandments were love. God love people. It wasn’t sin less. Spend some time with me tolerate people. Right. I’m like, but that’s oftentimes, that’s how we approach it. Right. Um, that that’s the goal of Christianity. Well, it’s just to be Holy it’s to be more like Jesus, it’s not to be more like Jesus.

Um, the goal is to love God and love people. Now those are traits of Jesus and he did it perfectly. So we can be more like using that way. But sending less is not the goal. Like I’m not a safe sinner. I’m a Saint that still sends, um, Like, there’s still that piece. Like I have to remember my position and my place and what Jesus restored.

Um, the fact that I can enter the throne room in full confidence and I can enter God’s presence and full confidence that he’s present with me willing to listen. And not only that have conversation because he wants a relationship. And I think that’s where we kind of get lost somewhere down the way. So like, we look at this conversation, we’re like, well, I think I’m super sinful.

Or sorry, uh, selfish. It’s all about, it’s all about me. You’re also super sinful, but we’ll get to that some other day. Uh, but you’re super selfish and then it’s all up to me to fix. It’s not up to you to fix. Jesus never said it was up to you to fix, um, like identify and then walk with Jesus in the midst of it and let maturity happen.

Um, let him guide you and walk with you. I think oftentimes where Christians struggle is they don’t walk with Jesus. Yeah. Like, they just, don’t sure they go to church and they checked it off the to-do list. Um, when elections come up, they vote based on what they think Jesus wants. Yeah. Um, when important dates like Christmas and Easter, we make sure that we celebrate them as family.

Yeah. But there’s no relationship there. Like the last time most Christians have talked with Jesus is months ago. Um, if they’re really honest, if it wasn’t just your basic, you know, God bless this food, bless our family. Let’s move on. Let’s eat. Right? Like. Depth of conversation and relationship, I think is just missing in today’s or, you know, when it comes to reading God’s word and spending time in relationship in that perspective, I’m not doing it in relationship with Jesus.

I’m doing it to check something off my to-do list. And I’m just reading through what I’m supposed to read through that day. And I’m not taking the time to really dig in and ask the questions and let Jesus use it to speak into me. It’s just a book. It’s a good book. I live by, it I’ll be a moral person. Um, but that’s not the relationship.

Jesus was asking you what, and I think that’s the piece of maturity that’s missing. So going back to all of these versus like macro level, um, like if I’m going to love God and love people, well, and this is what love looks like. It’s not necessarily up to me though that I know this is how we’ve approached it as we’ve broken it down.

Um, part partly because. We broke it down this way. So now you’re living in this world of, you know, it’s up to you. It’s, it’s not up to you. Um, these are the signs that you’re growing and maturing is if you’re loving in this way. So, if you’re not loving in this way better today than you were a year ago, then I would argue the issue.

Isn’t doing the love better. It’s doing the relationship with Jesus better and out of lat that let the love flow. Um, and I think that’s. The piece that’s, that’s going to cut to you. It looks like there’s a message on the screen from Joshua boobies. He’s quoting versus at me

Andrew: message coming in previous. Um, uh, Oh man.

No, well, I

Josh: don’t know if I should reply to that. It’s like, it’s like one of those little scams it’s like, Hey, I’m a sexy woman. That’s just down the street from you, which creates so many questions and concerns for me on Instagram. First off. How do you know where I am? Uh, can you see my location? Second off, I click on that link it’s screens, right?

Click me and bad things happen. Not just bad things of like, you might actually get to see her, but bad things in the sense of I’m going to take control of your phone. I have no actual word in, in this domain name. Uh, and that’s what this message looks like. It looks like you’re trying to tempt me,

Andrew: you know, don’t you can just leave it alone.

Josh: Just delete. I’m going to say close button.

Andrew: I, as you were talking, um, I was, it hit me, so a verse I haven’t read in quite in awhile or thought about in a while, but first Corinthians 10, 13, it’s a verse that, um, I kind of discovered, um, when I was in like young college age, so maybe 1920,

Josh: we were in the porn watching days.


Andrew: not so much maybe, maybe

Josh: we’re watching.

Andrew: So I was leading a group of dudes in our kind of college group and, and porn was like the most frequent. Sin people were just like, I’m losing the battle to this big. So I don’t, I don’t think it was necessarily a struggle for me in that moment so much, but I was trying to lead people through this one, dude, get this tattooed on his shoulder.

Um, and instill still has it obviously to this day, but first Corinthians 10, 13, this hit me. It says no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind and God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out that you can do it.

And I was thinking, I was kind of thinking about that. Not necessarily through the temptation lens, but just the lens of like sin, I guess. So maybe temptation, but like the sin of selfishness of, of saying it’s all about me, I’m the most important, and let’s be honest. The Senate selfishness is maybe like, no.

I should be on God’s throne instead of God. Like I deserve that. So the world kind of does revolve around me. I’m more important than anything or anybody else.

Josh: Yeah.

Andrew: So that’s kind of like the root maybe of selfishness or one of the roots, but when you think about temptation and you think about sin, like.

The that doesn’t say that verse, doesn’t say you’ll never be tempted, but it does say when you are attempted, God will give you a way out from under it, a way to get out of that. And I think in the same way, like when you’re, when you’re selfish, when you’re doing one of these things that is not love, God will always give you a way out of it.

Whether that just be a simple, like a reminder, you know, of like, Oh, this actually doesn’t serve God in any way. This only serves me. This only serves my selfish behavior. This only makes me look good. This puts somebody else down. You know, like he always gives us a reminder. I think the Holy spirit gives us cues.

And that often just sounds like our thoughts in our head. Um, it gives us the little cues to say like, well, this behavior doesn’t actually honor God. Um, or this, this only makes me look good. Um, so I don’t know, man, when you were talking to just hit me, um, that first Corinthians 10, 13 verse, which is a great verse.

If you’re struggling with looking at porn or any other type of addiction or recurring sin in your life. But, um, it just hit me through this lens of selfishness. Like, uh, I think it applies at a, at a liar, large scale maybe.

Josh: Yeah. I agree with you. I think.

I think with, with this, with this first specifically, I forgot that it ends in that way of, um, provides you a way out so you can endure, but, um,

What if I don’t find the way out, I guess, is always, was always the issue with this verse. And this is always the pushback of like, I don’t feel like God’s giving me a way out. Um, and this goes back to the conversation. We were just having us like. There is a way out. Part of the issue may be, is you’re just not in relationship with Jesus.

You’re saved, you’re secured, but I’m in you’re forgiven, but the relationship piece just was never fostered a restored. So, um, I’m getting tempted by all these things, but I don’t feel like there’s any way out of any of these things. And this is any temptation, this isn’t just sexual division. You name it and it’s a temptation, but, um, But I don’t feel way up because I just don’t feel connected enough to jeez.

Like if I don’t feel connected enough to gee, I shouldn’t say that way. If I’m not connected enough to Jesus, I don’t see his leading and that’s the real issue, right? Like getting back to that is like, um, Our relationship with Jesus is the thing that everything else flows out of. So if there’s toxicity in my life, it’s because there’s an issue with my relationship with Jesus.

Um, something’s not working, so I’ve got to get back with Jesus. Um, and I know this is, this is opposite of what I’ve taught for so many years. Like, especially with these verses and temptation of like, find your triggers and, and you, you. Identify those. And then you work your way back. So you don’t go down those roads.

So there a trigger or temptation you can call them. Um, and that’s not the solution. The solution is no, you deepen your relationship with Jesus and as Jesus molds and shapes you, these things become less and less of an issue. Um, but what, I’ll kind of put a stop to that part of the conversation, because we can go down a road and we’ll try to bring it back my fault.

I got us here. Um, but looking at like, Going back to what you’re saying, that the practice spiritual discipline of slowness, which I’ve never actually heard of before. That’s pretty cool. That’s good stuff. Yeah. Um, but I think there’s actions that Jesus performed in his life that we see, um, that we can try to imitate that I think will help us with this conversation of how do I.

Be others focused than self focused all the time and the decisions that I make and the things that I I choose to pursue. Um, I think one is what you were talking about of, um, this mindfulness of just realizing what’s going on around you or even your word for the year of focus. Like to be focused.

There’s a level of. Of mindfulness. That has to be true. Like I have to be extremely intentional about how I spend my time, um, what I’m going to do, the things I’m going to think about the questions I’m going to ask myself, like the questions you wrote down, like there’s a mindfulness to it. So maybe that, that’s the simple question of like, I find myself being selfless often.

Um, what are God, what’s the two questions I should be asking myself regularly to make sure that yeah. I’m aligned with you. Yeah. Um, so for you, it was, you know, how, how do I be the husband that, that my wife deserves and how do I raise a daughter that looks like

Andrew: the person I want her to be, that I dreamed that Shelby, you know, the kind of follower of Jesus that I know she could be, you know, that I hope

Josh: so.

Like, those are very mindful questions that you’re not asking yourself constantly. Let me assume probably multiple times a day. Um, Probably oftentimes in the moment where you want to be selfish, like, do I really want to do this right now?

Andrew: That’s when they come up, that’s the exact moment.

Josh: And then you’re like, ah, that’s the question

Andrew: not to, not to derail you at all, but only to add to what you’re saying, but like, The key of first Corinthians 10, 13 to me has always been that God will give us a way to stand up under that temptation.

Josh: So like deadlift squat

Andrew: who stand up, like you’re not stuck. It might feel like you’re stuck, but God always gives you a way out. So those questions are starting to be that for me. And in this kind of year of focusing, you’re exactly right there. It’s always in the moment where I’m like, yeah, Yeah, but I wonder if it’s a

Josh: Sunday afternoon, the TV’s on beers in the hand and your wife’s like, Hey, can you come help me with this?

Give me a lap. I have so many excuses right now. Can’t

Andrew: 15 reasons I’d rather be selfish. Um, but, but that’s, the key is like, and for me, maybe that’s just how the Holy spirit is moving in me in this time is giving me the, not even foresight, just giving me the. Thought of, I should write some questions that are going to haunt me a little bit later, um, in a good way, haunt me and pushed me towards living this thing out because I need that man.

Like, I need that in my life. I’m, I’m broken. I’m trying to pursue Jesus. Well, I’m trying to live, um, more like him. It’s not easy. It’s like it’s 24 seven and I find a lot of ways to, uh, fall into to things that don’t honor God. So, um, Yeah, man. I just want to jump in like that it, maybe it’s the questions.

Maybe you need to write two or three or 10 or 50 and pick one or two that can, can push you out of being selfish or maybe you need to slow down and practice slowness and wait in lines that we all hate to wait. And, um, um,

Josh: yeah,

Andrew: I don’t know.

Josh: Maybe that’s the book. Um, the ridiculous, the ruthless

Andrew: elimination of hurry.

Josh: Yeah. If you haven’t read it yet, you should read it. It’s good stuff. Uh, just slowing and being more intentional with who you are, your time, your thoughts, what you do, um, is definitely helpful. I think that’s big. I think, um, Spend some time with Jesus and ask that, ask God, what’s those questions? Like, what are the questions they should be asking myself?

That’s going to essentially motivate me, encourage me, challenge me, um, to make the right decisions that I’m supposed to be making in those moments. Um, so it’s just, I think, and Jesus model that like he was extremely mindful. He was extremely intentional on where he went, what he did, what he spent his time doing.

Um, and. You know, there’s a, there’s a term out there. Uh, hangar Henry cloud, cloud coin, Henry cloud’s, uh, uh, uh, leadership, uh, guru writer, um, uh, consult, I think he does consulting as well. Um, but he has a term out there that you’re ridiculously in charge, um, as the person in charge while you’re ridiculously in charge of you and your actions and what you can do, that’s what you’re ridiculously in charge of.

Um, so if you’re going to be in charge of it, Like, don’t let your time be dictated by the world or by what’s going on around you. Um, you dictate your time now I get it. We have jobs, there’s a clock, you know, for a lot of people, it’s clock out clock in, um, kind of, of place you live in. And there’s some dictation of your time in those places.

I get that. Um, but uh, in the time that you do control, you are in 100% control of that time. Um, so what are you doing with it? Are you being mindful and intentional with it? Um, In your relationships, are you being mindful and intentional in how you interact with those around you? Um, I think another way that this kind of plays out where I’m not being selfish, but I’m being selfless and putting others first and loving, well, I think it was how approachable Jesus was.

And this is convicting for me because I’m not approachable. Um, and I’m intentionally not approachable. I know I’m not approachable. I purposely make myself not approachable. Like one of the masks too

Andrew: long, man, you got burned too much.

Josh: And especially in ministry, one of the masks I wore is I’m important.

I’m more important than you. My time is more important than your time. That’s not true, right? You’re a human being. I’m a human being. We’re in the same boat. Right. Um, I may have more responsibilities who knows, but I’m not more important, but more important was I’m not approachable. Uh, and that was the. The mask and the facade that I would put out there.

And I still do from time to time when I’m not careful like coming back, you know, um, I’m in a new house and a great neighbors. This is the first time I’ve ever, and my neighbors

Andrew: on electrical, you know, now though.

Josh: Yeah, you that’s good. I know both sides. Yeah. But, and there’s also like excitement of like, I want to get to know other people like this and they look, it looks pretty sweet.

It’s younger family. So, uh, it, it fits my demographic, but, um, there there’s a piece of like, no, I just, I just want to go inside. Like they’re out on the portrait now. Uh, I don’t want to be approachable. I’m going inside. Where I should be taking of the time in that moment. What’s the conversation going to be?

No more than five minutes. Probably in all reality. Yeah. But that five minutes can do wonders for relationship can do wonders for building a foundation. Um, but the, a piece of me is like, no, I’m not a problem. Just gonna walk inside. Like I’m busy, I’m not busy. I just don’t want to be outside. Um, and talk to you right now because for whatever reason, right, right.

I was just getting my Starbucks this morning. I had no intention on talking to people while I did it. Oh, because it’s COVID and that’s really the only reason we leave the houses grocery store. And from time to time, other things like my hair, it needs a haircut. I need to go out. Um, Be approachable, but Jesus, exactly.

That’s what Jesus was. He was constantly approachable. He was intentionally approachable. Now there’s times he went away. True.

Andrew: But otherwise he was just like, I’m ready to give of myself, you know? And then there were moments where he’s like, I got to go recharge.

Josh: Yeah. Yup. And it was also like he was intentional in his relationships.

Like you look at as his relationship circles. So like he had Peter, James and John, those were like his inner three for this. And this is for the sake of. The kingdom moving forward and the church being established, like he had to pour intentionally the most amount of time into these three individuals because these three individuals were going to start the movement.

Um, and then, you know, from there went into the 12 and, you know, some of the other followers that were around them, you know, Mary and Martha and, and others. Um, and he, he gave a little bit more time to them. Um, then he would have the crowds, but not as much time as he gave to those three. So be intentional with your time as well, like, um, I don’t have to give all my time to everybody I come in contact with, but if these are the relationships I’m trying to foster, well, they get to get more of my time because the only way I’m going to foster relationship is being in, you know, being around them for a significant amount of time.

That’s just how the world works. So like, it’s not just everybody gets me all the time. That’s not what we’re saying. Um, but there is a level of approachability. And even if, um, Maybe someone’s in my outer circle. Um, just be, you know, if they’re approaching me, I don’t shun them or push them off or give them the, the vibe that, Hey, I can’t talk to you right now.

You’re just not important enough. Or I can’t talk to you right now. I’m just too busy or I can’t talk to you right now because I just don’t want to be approachable. Like the people that are around you, around you for a reason. So let them let them. Uh, feel safe, communicating, coming around you, they shouldn’t feel like they’re a burden.

Right? Um, I think another big piece of this is, um, Jesus showed a high level of grace unto those who came in contact with now the religious leaders, not so much, but remove them from the equation. And Jesus showed the people around them, around him, a high level of grace. And I think this is where we struggle.

Like, this is probably where I’ve done the most learning in the last year of what does it really mean to love people? It’s to show grace, like I look and find all your, your insecurities, the things that pissed me off the things about your personality. That just bother me. And I just want to point them all out because if they’re identified, then, then I feel safer or whatever the real reason is.

Um, but in all reality, if I show grace relationship is formed, care has shown, um, they recognize, Oh no, Josh really does care and love. Love me. Um, like it’s not. And it’s not a facade of it all. Like it’s genuine. I’m sure I still see their, their issues. Like that’s I watch people. That’s what I do for fun.

Um, so I’m going to see their issues. I’ve watched enough people, but in those moments, can I show Greg’s or when people screw up and hurt me? Can I show grace when people do the opposite of what I thought they were going to do. And it creates discomfort for me. I show grace, like there’s plenty of ways that I can model Jesus’s level of grace.

Um, I was looking for, uh, an Instagram post from a friend of ours. Um, and I found it. It didn’t say what I wanted to say. I thought it’s a good thing in terms of imitating Jesus, but, um, I thought it was funny, but yeah, there’s a, there’s a. There’s a high level. Like it’s always this thing, right? Like, um, uh, what’s the saying, I can love you, but I don’t have to like Hmm.

Andrew: Like,

Josh: yeah. Okay. And I think when you shift it this way and say, no, no, no, I have to show you grace. That’s what it means to love you. That that changes the game. At least it does for me. Right. Like I can say, I love everybody I’d do anything for anybody. I just don’t really want to spend a lot of time with you.

I don’t really like you. Yeah. Uh, is different than say, uh, no, no. I have to show grace to everyone I come in contact with. So now when I’m like getting annoyed or I’m getting frustrated, my response is, ah, this is a great opportunity to show grace. Yeah. I could be showing grace right now in this moment.

Andrew: Yeah. And let’s be real. That’s when the selfishness comes up of like, I’m just going to go within myself or I’m going to put it off an air of being busy

Josh: or, or

Andrew: whatever. I knew that like, I stay busy a lot, man, but I, I probably use that as a shield to like, Oh, gotta go, Moe, gotta go do this. Got it. You know, whatever.

Um, and yeah. And the root of that might be selfishness in me as well for like, my things are more important than your things. My, uh, getting my grass cut is more important than building relationship with you. My neighbor, you know? Um, cause you’re a little weird and I don’t know what

Josh: that reminds me of something.

Yeah. Hm. Um, I don’t think this episode’s out right now. We’re a couple of weeks ahead. Um, so it’s hard to keep track of these things, but you’re going to hear before you listen to this one. So I have to apologize to everyone listening. Um, I was going to have Stewart cut it out, but a couple of weeks ago, or a couple of episodes, maybe it was the episode right before this, actually, I don’t remember.

Um, we started talking about branding a cult and. Hiring my company to brand that Colt and I got in and I made it a point to tell you how much money I was making on the side business. It might even been in the pride episode and here I am like boasting. So was listening. Let me apologize. I am sorry. I did the opposite of what we’ve been talking about and it was just a.

Moment of, I was trying to flex. That was funny. Just I wanted people to think I was awesome and successful. And in all reality, it doesn’t matter. You know, what I’m hearing

Andrew: though, is that you are single and you do have money to take the right lady on nice dinner dates at the moment.

Josh: That’s true. That’s true.

Oh, dude, I got to update you on some things. I won’t update you on this podcast because that is not an environment that I want to have conversations about this, but I do need to tell you some things. Cool. I forgot about, um, um, Brill. Yeah, we,

Andrew: so we’re recording this kind of during Workday, so we should probably stop soon.

And by the way, I, I didn’t think twice about when you made that comment and it’s hilarious that in this moment you’re like, crap, I feel convicted. I got to bring this up, but you know, that’s the Holy spirit, just like, by the way, you got to bring that up. Um, and you know, you’re demonstrating, uh, humility in that you sort of things.

And it’s like, God’s like,

Josh: Hey, I was having this conversation with. Yeah, somebody recently about the podcast, um, and the things that we share on here. I can’t remember what it’s Oh, I said my microphone. I apologize. Um, I can’t remember what it was now. It was a while ago, but there was something that I shared that felt extremely vulnerable.

And I was like, I don’t want that out there. People are gonna attack me because of, because I said that, are they going to be like, Oh, I was right. Or whatever, I’m giving them ammo essentially. Um, and I was gonna reach out to Stewart and be like, cut it out. Like get rid of this part. I don’t know when it happens.

Um, and I, and I didn’t, and the reason I didn’t was no, like. This is exactly what we’re talking about doing. So it has to be modeled

Andrew: being vulnerable. Like

Josh: if we’re saying being vulnerable, like you, yeah. Vulnerability comes with potential harm. It’s just reality of it. So I can’t cut it out. So it’s the same thing with this.

So that same idea came back up of, of, I could just cut it out and then no one heard it except for Andrew and then in Stewart and no, it doesn’t matter. Right. Um, and let’s be honest, Stewart probably didn’t even hear it, but I just, he probably listened to it. Um, Though he finds it, you know, he’s pretty damn good at finding the things that are, that we say inappropriately and cut them out and send them to us so we can hear ourselves saying them.


Andrew: We’re thankful for him

Josh: though. He’s good. We’re extremely painful.

Andrew: If you’re listening to this, we’re thankful for you. My friend, we are

Josh: so thankful. I say all this to say this of like, no, this is what has to be modeled. Like I said it, I did it. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have I’m apologizing for it. Yeah.

Like, this is what relationship looks like. We have to model these things to each other. Like I have to get really good at apologizing as a Christian. That’s just the reality. I’m going to do things that harm relationship. And I have to apologize for those things when I do it.

Andrew: Yeah. And it’s important. It’s important to model and it’s like, eh, yeah, that God has used this, our conversations, uh, on here to humble me and, and remind me of things and encourage me at times and make me laugh at times.

Um, but. Yeah, man, I it’s pretty uniquely vulnerable to, to do this, but on the, on the selfishness, like topic of how do we love better to reduce selfishness? How do we demonstrate love better from thinking about like a, a wrap up of a few takeaways. One might be, um, try to live out, which this is the answer to everything, but try to live out, uh, try to make your life look more like Jesus’s life looked, um, especially in the form of being accessible to other people.

Um, for me, the one I was talking about is write down and that you put a good point on is like write down some questions that, that may come back to bite you, but push you towards God questions of like, I want to be less selfish. I want to be more loving. So what questions do you need to ask yourself in those moments where you don’t want to be those things?

Write it down, pray about it. If you don’t know the questions, if you don’t know how you’re selfish, ask God. And write down, whatever, whatever he tells you back. And then, um, third, like from my boss that, um, kinda guide us like intentional slowness sometimes choose to drive in the slow lane, choose to walk behind the slow Walker and not pressure them choose to take the, the lane in the grocery store with six people in it, rather than the one with three, you know, slow yourself down.

Yeah. Um, But those are some like definite kind of easy takeaways that, that I heard. Anything you want to add, or as, as we kind of do some closing

Josh: thoughts, nothing was all great. The only thing I think I’d add is, is make sure you’re you’re you. Posture yourself to be full of grace, look for opportunities to show grace.

Um, I think that’s the most attractive part of the gospel. So, um, there’s a lot of track parts of the gospel. I don’t know if I can say that, but it isn’t. It is one of the attractive parts of the gospel is the grace that’s shown to us. So choose to practice, showing it to other people, even if you don’t think they deserve it, even if you don’t think it’s beneficial to them, because that’s where we usually stop ourselves.

Right. I’m not gonna show grace right now because I need to learn the lesson. Yeah. Um, choose to show grace anyways, like look for opportunities to actually show grace to people, um, create opportunities where you can show grace to people, not create opportunities like manipulate situations, make bad decisions so that your grades don’t go down those roads.

I know people that may and terrifying, terrifying life to live. Don’t go down those roads, but yeah. Look for opportunities to show grace. And choose to show grace, even when you don’t think you should.

Andrew: Thanks for listening to our show. It really means a lot to us. And we hope that it helps bring you closer your relationship with Jesus and with other people.

Josh: And it also helps us out. If you rate our podcast or leave us a review on whatever platform you’re listening, you can also follow us on Instagram and the Facebook. Now sharing this with your friends. Isn’t just to get the word out of the podcast. We believe that we have the message of hope that’s found in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you sharing.

This has the ability to transform the lives of people.

Andrew: We want to hear from you. You can email You can message us on Facebook and Instagram, or you can just visit But seriously, thanks for listening.

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