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Fighter for Relationships
Episode No. 33

Endurance isn’t an easy thing to accomplish in relationship, but necessary for relationship to work. We get practical talking about ways we can choose perseverance in love over selfishness. Join us for our final episode of this season on loving others well.

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Verses – 1 Corinthians 13.
Resource – BestSelf Icebreaker Cards.


Josh: How are you doing? 

Andrew: Hi, I’m doing well. 

Josh: Christmas just finished for us. Yes. So hopefully it was good for you. And now you have a two year old, so it’s probably a blast to watch her open 

Andrew: presence.

And actually it was really fun. It was really fun. She has never got to eat that much sugar, candy and chocolate right after she wakes up because she opened her stocking first. So it was a blast man. Um, we had a good Christmas. We didn’t travel. So that was weird. It was like our first Christmas at not traveling.

Um, but we still made the best of it. We had a good time. Yeah. Hope you had a good one 

Josh: too. It was good. I did get to hang out with family and, um, just chill and it’s nice to be off of work for awhile. Um, can’t complain. It’s a nice COVID Christmas, not a great Christmas, cause you don’t got everyone around, but a good COVID Christmas, 

Andrew: Christmas.

Ah, that’s right, dude. Let’s let’s never have a COVID Christmas again that, uh, you know, let’s just be done with COVID in 2021 at some 

Josh: point. You would think Josh has, you know, it might just be here forever and will always be in always being locked down. Yeah, 

Andrew: probably I don’t the benefit long-term of lockdown, but you never know.

You never know. As long as we’re supplied with, uh, with coffee and food and all the things you need. It’s good to go. I’m on my like fifth sip of coffee of the day right now, and I can feel it just. Coercing through my veins and body and, uh, charging me up. Don’t feel good. I love coffee, man. That’s 

Josh: good. 32.

I am a fan, which reminds me, I think I ran out of coffee, but let’s be honest. Most of the time I’m on Starbucks coffee. So yeah, that’s fair. 

Andrew: That’s the 

Josh: best iced coffee. Like 

Andrew: I can’t figure it out. Coffee dude. 

Josh: Yeah, and I can’t make it. I’ve tried buying every ice coffee that’s out there. I’ve purchased and drank it’s crap.

It’s disgusting. It’s got that weird frickin after taste to it. I’m just not a fan. Even Starbucks iced coffee. That’s like you buy in the jugs or whatever at the not good. Yeah. Um, and then their ice coffee blend is like a specific blend for that. And you can’t buy it sometimes the supermarkets, but in 

Andrew: general, it, have you ever done a homemade cold brew coffee?

Josh: I don’t like cold brew. Cathy, 

Andrew: you don’t like cold brew. Okay. Well, Starbucks does do killer iced coffee and they probably do it intentionally. So you can’t replicate it. You know, they probably have like some little thing they do that. They’re just like, yeah, we don’t want the floor up to know about that, but 

Josh: yeah.

Well it’s just, I worked for Starbucks. It’s just hot brewed coffee. That they put in the refrigerator. That’s how they make it. There’s nothing special, but there’s something about it. This is really, really good. Um, and it’s like, it’s, it’s got that bite to it. Cause I drink it black because that’s how all coffee should be.

Um, and it has a bite to it that I liked. That’s why I don’t like the cold brew is it’s too smooth. Um, and I liked that bite. See, I like that one day 

Andrew: I’ll figure it out, but you know, yeah. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes. 

Josh: I’m glad you recognize it. They were wrong.

All right, Andrew, I got a question for you. Yes. Got a question for you. Yep. What book have you read recently that you would recommend and why? 

Andrew: This is terrible. I have not read many books recently. Um, I just picked yup. The Hobbit again, because it is, uh, at my Kindle had been not charged. I just hadn’t been using it much.

And then I charged it up cause I’m like, it’s about to be Christmas break. I got some time off and I’ve been cruising through the Hobbit. Um, It’s not a, not a great, like self-help professional book or anything like that, but dude, it’s entertaining. It’s so good. One of my favorite all time books. So I’d recommend it.

It’s great for that. Just a nice mental relaxation. You know, what about you? Any good 

Josh: books? I’ve never read any fiction book in my life from cover to cover until, until the hunger games came out in movie form. And I saw the first one and it just ended and it pissed me off. So I went and bought all those books.

I think, I think on my Kindle, I would assume and read them in a weekend because it was like, what the heck? I need to know how the story ends and it’s the only fiction I’ve ever read. 

Andrew: Dude. Okay. I used to be, I was homeschooled first grade through fourth grade. And that explains so much. Yeah, it does. Uh, and so I went to kindergarten, then I went back to school at fifth grade, but like, my mom was really freaked out.

Cause I was testing as a slow reader. Um, like I was like underdeveloped in reading, but it’s because I’m stubborn and I had mandatory. Pleasure reading time every day, which I hated because it was mandatory pleasure. Anything. Yeah, it was called pleasure reading time, but it was like, there’s nothing pleasurable about reading.

And so I just fought it tooth and nail, but then in fifth grade, I remember we were assigned, like to read the Hobbit, uh, or like maybe there are a couple books we could read and we could pick one. And I picked the Hobbit because I’m like, well, that’s. It seems cool. And dude, I breezed through that whole book, it was the first book I ever read cover to cover.

That was like a real book, you know? And then from there I was like, Oh, I actually kind of love reading. Like I see what’s what this is about, you know? And ever since I’ve always loved reading a good book, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, but, um, yeah, man, That was the one that got me, uh, over the hump from being behind to being like, Oh, I see why people like this, but moral of the story is I’m stubborn.


Josh: Yeah. My issue is I’m dyslexic. So reading has always been a chore to me. That’s why I only read non-fiction books is because it’s a chore. It feels like I need to learn something while I do it. And I read a lot these days, but I didn’t do it until well after high school. 

Andrew: Yeah. I love podcasts and audio books and all that stuff, but yeah, I don’t spend that much time reading, reading just because it’s like, there’s too much other stuff to do, you know?


Josh: true. What are the by, uh, the new Kindles or waterproof? It was like, man, I could read while I’m in the shower and kill two birds with one stone. That’s funny, dude. I have, I have a question. Do you ever sit down and read? Cause anytime you sit down and read, you got like. 30 other things you could be doing.


Andrew: So I now just read right before bed, like, you know, shows off, like I’m chilling in bed, pick up the Kindle and read for like 20 minutes. And then I’m like, okay, I’m nice. And you know, that’s a good rhythm. So I’m going to try to keep it. Yeah. I got a question for you, man. And it’s, it’s an open-ended one, uh, you know, choose your own adventure, but Josh, what is the worst place to puke?

Like the absolute worst place to puke 

Josh: anywhere. 

Andrew: It is a horrible feeling. 

Josh: Like I don’t, I don’t puke. Like at all the last time I puked was like, Man, uh, probably 2012, 2013 maybe. And I fought it and fought it and fought it. And then I puked all over my wall on the way into the bathroom. Cause I fought it for too long, but the worst place to puke, like if it was going to happen, it was like someone forgot to flush the toilet.

And now you have, I think that’d be the worst experience. 

Andrew: Oh, 

Josh: that’d be so bad when you’re like puking in the shower. Here we go. 

Andrew: Yep. Yep. I’m just you aim for the floor, like 

Josh: big 

Andrew: chunks. Oh, that’s fair. That’s fair. 

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. That’d be the worst. Not a fan of puking. Like, uh, that is the worst feeling. She’s our world.

Like I know there’s people that are like, yeah, once I puke, then I’ll feel good. I’m just not one of those people. I’m like, I get what you’re saying, but I don’t want to puke. Yeah. No, thank you. That’s the worst. Yeah. Your whole, like, I’m like a violent puker too. So like my whole body tenses up and then I’m like, Oh, I’m exhausted now because I puked, not my 

Andrew: thing.

Yeah. It’s gorgeous. It’s one of the absolute worst feelings. 

Josh: What is the last show you binge watched that we you’d be embarrassed to tell us to be on Netflix, Hulu, any of your streaming platforms, the new peacock. If you want to get on the peacocks really good, pretty quickly. That’s the only place you’re going to get off the office at is on peacock.

Really soon, I watched the West wing. Pretty religiously. Um, and, uh, the West side, I left on Christmas on Christmas Eve. Now, I don’t know where it is, but it left Netflix and Christmas Eve. So like, I was watching and going to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep. So I turned, went to turn it back on and it was gone

thankfully on, you know, Apple, iTunes or whatever, and watched it there. But, 

Andrew: but did you do that on Christmas Eve? Brutal man. That is rough. That’s me. So 

Josh: shady, shady, 

Andrew: poor me, Netflix. Alright. Um, the show that I watched probably embarrassingly fast, um, I only watched two seasons of it so far, but I watched them ridiculously quick, um, alone, uh, on the Amazon prime.

Um, Where they drop. I might’ve told you this, but they drop people. It’s a slightly older show, this extreme environment, Vancouver Island for the first two seasons, um, which is like, Canada way up there, British Columbia, super cold, super rainy. And you just survive as long as you can. And the winner gets $500,000, but it’s like this crazy it’s impressive.

Cause it’s like this, it, it becomes more psychological at some point than anything else because they figure out food and water and shelter, you know? Uh, but yeah, dude alone, I, I went through two seasons of that, like real fast, real, real fast, 

Josh: everything. Like, and I’m not embarrassed to say that I binge watch everything, any new show I’m going to watch it straight.

Yeah. Like only thing I’m going to watch is going to be that, except I like when I go to bed at night that it’s the office, Netflix. Um, but, uh, uh, what’s the, show’s going to say, um, for life. I can’t remember what I was thinking, but yeah, not like most shows I watched through. Oh, that’s the thing I was going to say.

Thing that pisses me off and you lose my attention pretty quick. Is if you’re one of those fricking platforms that only releases one episode a week. Yeah. 

Andrew: Hell like, dude, if I never let the streaming service be a streaming service, you know, like put it 

Josh: either because that’s what this was created to do, unless you’ve got a really good story.

So like Apple TV has some pretty good stories like defending Jacob. Pretty like kept me engaged the entire time. Yeah. And they only release one episode a week. There’s another one on there. Um, she’s like a detective little girl, um, that kept me engaged week to week. I can’t remember the name of it now. Um, and then the other ones are it’s Apple.

They’re going to be political in nature. Right. 

Andrew: Hey, speaking of political in nature, Josh, what is the worst way to spend your soon to be stimulus cash? What’s the 

Josh: worst thing and how much it’s going to be 

Andrew: between $602,000 ish. I think 

Josh: the worst would be, uh, spending it all on blow and hookers. There’s probably the worst place to spend it because I don’t do blow or hookers.

Um, so just like a waste of money and you just, just throw it away. It’d be terrible. 

Andrew: You just prepay for a punch in every 

Josh: Houston. Yeah. You just, I wouldn’t even want it cause I wouldn’t wanna get busted with it. So like I pay for it. I’m like, you know, just give it to give it to, you know, one of those people that can’t afford it, they really need to give it to them.

Andrew: Yeah. Can you imagine getting the content of that stimulus money to make a camp donation to one of the presidential campaigns at this point? Like, 

Josh: you know, I’m just really waiting for it. It was like, There’s all these people that were like, worried that there’s gonna turn around and give money back to the federal government.

They were like, ah, we don’t pay donations. These 

Andrew: to be literally trumpets. Isn’t there 

Josh: a limit on how much money you’re allowed to give 

Andrew: to a campaign. I don’t know there is, but there’s all kinds of loopholes. So, you know, like you can, like, I think it’s 2000 bucks per individual, but then if you have a business as well, they can give a certain amount.

You can give a cert it it’s a whole thing. It’s the whole thing. Yeah. Blowing hookups, definitely a terrible 

Josh: way to spend anything. It would just be a waste of the money you’re like, dang. Gosh. Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I’ll end up spending it on things on Amazon. I think that’s probably where it’s going to go.

Let’s be honest. Let’s be 

Andrew: real. That’s where most people are spending it and he’s going crazy. I should probably 

Josh: pull my Amazon record and see how much money I’ve spent on Amazon this year. 

Andrew: That’s the one thing Amazon doesn’t give you a wrap-up, you know, there’s the spot of five. Wrap-up like you had this many lessons.

If Amazon did, everybody would be so embarrassed. Like you spent 75, 

Josh: $300, seven toilet paper rolls. You’ve spent $180,000. You’ve received back on your Amazon card. Yeah. 

Andrew: And you’re sitting there like, wait, that is more money than I made. How do you do this? What happened here? Okay. 

Josh: I was telling, I was telling my brother, my brother has the same Amazon card that I do the titanium one.

So it’s like metal and he likes to use this everywhere. Cause it looks cool. Which is fair. I get it. It does look cool, but I don’t use it for anything other than Amazon. So I was telling the girl, I don’t know where it is. I was like, yeah, I actually don’t actually know where it is. I think I went looking for it once.

Yeah. Well, you’ve had multiple 

Andrew: moves in the last 12 months, so it’s like, it could be many locations 

Josh: or any of my credit cards are like, except for like the two that I carry out on me all the time. 

Andrew: Well, yeah, you don’t really need them physically that much. It’s like, 

Josh: you just. Well, I use my Southwest card for everything.

Cause I got a record of Southwest miles and then I cared about my Apple card because it’s an Apple card and you got to show that thing off. Cause that’s freaking cool. That’s funny. I just 

Andrew: had these days in case because that’s now like yeah, they actually fly into the airport that I use when I fly in.

Josh: coming to Colorado Springs. 

Andrew: Dude are they coming back and Mark Southwest, they left just as I started traveling a bunch for work. And that was a real bummer. And then they’ve ever flooded 

Josh: into the Southwest? No, they were here in the 

Andrew: Springs before they were. They did. They did. Uh, when you say you’re here, do you mean here 

Josh: where I am or where you are?

Andrew: No, Colorado Springs. The Southwest used to be whatever it is. Yes. I swear. They definitely did. It was like Southwest United American them like Allegiant or something like that. They were there for a few years. I promise you. But yeah, then they left, but that’s that’s good news. I’ll just leave it at that.


Josh: is the, yeah, it’s like six, six or seven direct flights to a day. So nice. Not bad. 

Andrew: Dude that’s what’s up? 

Josh: What Brill those Southwest miles. I got. 

Andrew: Why are we, why are we talking all this nonsense, bro? Why are we doing all these questions? What’s going on? 

Josh: Just for fun. It entertains us while we, while we meet, before we dive into our content, which is the thing that we’d say things like, I’ll be honest as we’ve been talking back and forth, I knew.

I knew like deep down inside, we were recording right now. But, um, in all honesty, I kind of forgot that we were recording. So if I said anything inappropriate, uh, blame Andrew, cause remember he called Como hobo. So there’s that thing 

Andrew: mistakes were made you’re dropping hookers and blow over here. So, 

Josh: you know, he was on TV recently about something and I was like, Oh, I’ll come with a homo.

Oh, he’s not fact-check. Como is a married man. He’s not gay. 

Andrew: You’re never gonna let that go. I almost 

Josh: spit my coffee. Cause every time I see it, I think of it. This state’s in trouble. He’s losing millions right now. Yeah. 

Andrew: That’s all right. Government just prints money. Anyway, they didn’t actually, they don’t even print it these days.

They just add more zeros to digital currency. So it’s fine, but it is pretty much no we’re 

Josh: hopeless and because the American dollar is still, you know, the baseline for the world, uh, we can really do whatever we want with it and it doesn’t really change a lot. True. Um, welcome to macroeconomics. Um, Now if, if the rest of the world really wanted to screw us, they won’t because it’s going to cost them money to do it.

Uh, they changed the currency to something else. We base it on the Chinese yen or something. Yeah. 

Andrew: The U S dollar is what all oil has to be bought and sold. And in the world, like not necessarily at the gas pump and like Yemen, but it at all trade level oil has to be bought and sold in dollars. So as long as that’s the case, we’re probably okay.

When it’s not the case, you’re in trouble. 

Josh: So probably true politics, dude. So what are we talking about today? As we finish up first Corinthians 13, verses whatever, through whatever, I don’t remember, 

Andrew: dude, eight, three. That was a very precise description and I appreciate it. That’s good 

Josh: going for it. I really want to give just a clear understanding of what we’ve been up to 

Andrew: and when you’re a pastor again, someday.

You should just preach that way. We’re in first Corinthians 13 verses whatever, figure it out. Did you 

Josh: say when you’re a full pastor and then corrected yourself? I 

Andrew: don’t know what I was saying. I’m half pastor now. Yeah. I mean, it’s 

Josh: funny twice actually, when you 

Andrew: are, when you’re working full time as a pastor, I’ll say it that way.

Uh, Someday then, you know, you should preach that way. First Corinthians, whatever, to whatever, read your Bible, you 

Josh: should know where I’m finding yourself what this 

Andrew: should be. This should be familiar to you people. So, uh, first Corinthians 13, one through eight dude, we’re on episode 33, which is ridiculous.


Josh: yes. That’s what number Patrick was. He was the goaltender for the abs back in the day, once he cups. Nice. So he also beat his wife. So probably don’t want to put them too much on them pedestal, but he was good at 

Andrew: hockey. Not good at life. Um, yeah. Yeah. So this is episode 30, three, love endures all things, and we’re almost at the end of this kind of these chunks of what love does and doesn’t do that.

We’ve been working through and it’s actually been really cool. Um, I think, and it’s been. We’ve been doing this all through the lens of relationship. Um, so if you are just catching our show for the first time, go back and listen to all of season two, um, because it’s all about these verses and it’s all about relationship with other people and relationship with God and kind of what love looks like.

And doesn’t look like inside a relationship because. We think that’s important. So, um, this week we’re talking about love, endures, all things, um, and the amplified Bible says love and doers, all things, and then puts little parentheses without weakening. And I was thinking about that because I don’t know, that’s kind of a cool way to think about endurance, um, where.

You know, like if you’re going on the long run, um, say, or whatever, physical activity, at some point you start weakening a little bit. Cause it’s like, I’m getting tired and worn out. But, but the idea of without weakening, like you endure all things and remain just as strong throughout the whole time.

That’s a cool way to think about it. So without weakening, like you’re at, at full force the whole time, um, and ironically, uh, as we were talking about this, like, What it means to endure all things in love. The first thing that came to mind, I’ve been watching the bachelorette with Janna, um, 

Josh: because she, you should put that on your list of things you should be embarrassed to watch.



Andrew: But I’m just being honest here and be transparent. I’ve she was watching every Tuesday night. I started watching 

Josh: it. And the one that got Janet into it, uh, he pulls out all his, he puts on his, you know, uh, comfortable clothes and he grabs the popcorn and Janice sent me a picture. He was on the couch before Jana was ever there.

Andrew: The best on queued up, even started 

Josh: the show before Jana was ready and he had to restart it. Yeah. So she kind 

Andrew: of went up. I couldn’t wait. No, it was our friend Roxy. Just wanted to 

Josh: know how you know who Derek was going to fall in love with. He was just all into it. No. So the guy who won 

Andrew: good bachelorette, I don’t know if there ready Derek’s on there, but this fella, that one, uh, Zack was his name.

He, his story was filled with like years ago. Uh, he had, he had kind of gone through this. He had this. Crazy event where he thought he was going to die, like a brain tumor, if I’m not wrong, or if I’m remembering right. And, and ended up having surgery and all this stuff, and they saved his life, but he was living for a period of time thinking this is my last day, I’m about to die.

So then out of that, he didn’t know Jesus. And out of that, he kind of was recovering and then slipped into like, quite a bit of addiction to like some pretty serious pills and drugs and all of that. And like a lot of things went wrong in his life. And the cool thing was that like when, uh, he brought his parents in, you could tell he had a real respect and love for his parents.

And he was real clear about it because like, He, he kind of credits them with like, I would be dead without you, you know? Um, and they never gave up on me. They loved me the whole time. Um, and I am alive for one and the hope-filled person that he seems to be, uh, because they didn’t give up on him, you know?

And I just think about love, endures all things without weakening, as being like. Thank you. It’s a choice to give up on a relationship, right? It’s a choice to say I’m just not going to pursue that person to be friend anymore. Just not going to pursue that person for Jesus anymore. I’m out, you know, wash my hands of it.

We’re done. Um, but love and doers, all things. And I guess it does so without weakening, and it’s a powerful Testament when people do that, but it’s, it’s a lot easier to walk away when things get tough or to. Or to have the thought of like, well, that’s not my problem. That’s somebody else’s problem. Um, you know, I don’t have to fix them.

I can’t fix them. I don’t have to keep trying. And I’m sick of it. I’m over it. I’m done whatever, but that’s not, that’s not the way Jesus, uh, treats us, I guess, actively. So that’s my, that’s my 5 cents, uh, on, on the start. 

Josh: Like there’s, there’s so many different ways that. Um, you can kind of take this, this approach.

Like there’s the, the clear, you know, the, the common sense it’s right in front of us, way of like, We, we endure things inside of relationships. So just don’t like the keys just don’t give up on, like, I think maybe it’s an American thing. Maybe it’s just a human nature thing. Um, but we give them a relationship’s really quick and we’ve talked about this, but in the fourth before, like Christians have this tendency draw lines in the sand, um, and then shun everyone, that’s not on their line of the sand of whatever.

The line, you know, represented. Um, and we just end relationships without fighting form or something happens inside of relationships. And instead of dealing with the talking through it, um, humbling yourself. So you can hear the other side, uh, we just choose to, to sever the relationship. We’ll move on. I get that, uh, But the other side that you can can look at this too, is like sometimes people’s issues.

Sometimes the burdens that they carry in their lives are too much that we want to carry them. We’re just like, you know, yeah. It was a good run, Andrew. We had a lot of great times, but like your, your life is really messy right now. Um, and my life just finally got to a place where it’s not messy and I’m going to keep it that way and kind of protect my unmasking of my life and just, yeah.

I’m still friends with you. Like when you get on the other side of this, um, let’s, let’s hang out again, but while you’re going through it, probably not the person to help you carry those burdens. Um, so there’s that piece of it too. I think, you know, endurance of like, yeah, we have to keep stepping into the junk of people’s lives, um, because we need people to step into the junk of our lives and that’s what carrying one of those burdens look like.

And, uh, I think that’s important to. To, to not forget, um, cause there’s too many. There’s so many times that like someone says something that they need. And my first response is like, eh, someone else will take care of it. No, no problem. Uh, and our response, it should be like nine and I need to get in the mess I need to, and I’m not saying take on their issues, like carrying their burdens doesn’t mean fix their issues for them or fix them.

And that’s, that’s not healthy for anybody. Um, but yeah. And we should be getting into the massive of people’s lives because lives are messy. And, um, of course, you’re going to get messy a little bit, like, of course it’s going to get on you. It’s just, it’s not like if it’s going to, it’s just a matter of time when it’s going to.

Um, and I think we often forget that. Um, or when things just get too much, we don’t know what to do or handle. It’s easier for us to separate ties and move on with our lives rather than. To continue to help. And I’m as guilty as anyone else. Like I’ve been there plenty of times where something’s happened, even at family members lives where you’re like, you know, this is beyond me.

Like, it’s, this is a little bit too messy for me. Um, there’s other people dealing with it. They’re tough. Like, it’s fine. I don’t want to get involved. Like, and the crappy thing about it, that is like, here’s someone that would call you friend, um, or would call you brother, sister, if it’s a, if it’s a sibling, um, Is desperate that someone just notices them is desperate that someone recognizes and then you just stop intervening in their life because you’re just tired and it’s just a lot to handle.

Um, you’re trying to protect yourself. I get all the reasons why we do it. Um, And then that person’s like, man, do they even care? Like I haven’t heard from them in, in months. Yeah. Like, do they even even care about me anymore? They now come back dirt bag that doesn’t care about people because you were just trying to protect yourself and get out of the way, um, in your own head.

It’s kinda how you’re justifying it. But yeah, the mess of people’s lives is as messy as it is. We should definitely be engaging it. Um, Not fixing it. We’re not here to fix people. It’s not anyone’s attention. If that’s your intention, you’re wrong. Like it’s not your job to fix people. It is your job to help him carry the burdens and speak truth into their lives.

But it’s their life. They could do anything they want with it. Um, And, and it’s, it’s our responsibility just to sit with them. 

Andrew: You can’t walk around being the hero to every single person you see in your life. So if you’re, if you’re listening to this thinking, well, these guys are crazy. Like there’s obviously weighed way too many people with way too many needs that I know, or I see, or I pass in the store or that are homeless or whatever that are drunk passed.

And it’s like, yeah. Okay. But you could probably do better in, in like just your small circle alone. You know, there’s probably somebody who you’re like avoiding their phone call or text, or, you know, you need to pick up the phone and call or invite for coffee or whatever you do in these COVID times. Like we can all do better.

There’s people that. Uh, I, that I am close friends with, that I need to call just to check in with and see how they’re really doing like, and, you know, we need to be, be willing to care for people and do her all things. So, yes, the reality is we can’t do that for every single person we see or interact with or get to know.

But I think we could all probably do a little bit better, uh, like there’s always room for improvement. And are you caring for people? Well, and are you in doing all things? Well, um, At least there’s room in my life for that I’ve never walking around feeling like, wow, I’ve really cared for everybody that I know.

Well, I’ve really, uh, been I’ve really endured all things without weakening super well today. Like if I do that for one or two people a week, I’m like, Great. This is really good. You know, of course there’s room for improvement, but in the hours today I had, I feel like 

Josh: this was decent. Yeah. And this, this is why it’s important to have community in general.

Like yeah. In community, we all bear one another’s burdens together. Um, I’m not required to do it just for you, Andrew. And I’m the only one doing it like that is exhausting. Um, here’s the three people that I’m going to do this for, but when you do it inside of community and communities caring for one another, um, like it’s, it’s an easier, it’s an easier thing to carry.

It’s not, I don’t feel the weight by myself of like, it’s all up to me, you know, it’s up to the community and I want to make sure the community is doing it. And I want to make sure I’m doing my part inside of it. Uh, but when we do it together, then. You know, life’s much easier, um, to, to bear one of those birds.

And I think that’s what we miss oftentimes, um, in those, in those verses is, you know, he’s yes, there’s individual responsibility, but a lot of what. You know, especially Paul’s letters are to the church, it’s to a community of people. So these are the things that we do as a community of people. I play my part.

I invest as I need to individually, but I don’t have to do all of it because so-and-so, and so-and-so, they’re also investing and we know that we’ve taken care of whatever the issue is, the needs and that we can deep dive into. And I think the other part of it too, is like, I’m a fixer by nature. I want to fix problems as most.

Most men are. Um, so when I go into situations, like that’s usually my mentality. If it’s up to me, I’ve got to fix it. Um, and oftentimes you’ve got to just let go. Like, I think of a story. Uh, we have a family friend, um, that, um, his mom passed away when I was just out of high school and they were my brother’s a senior in high school and he’s a couple of years younger.

Um, And like, I remember going over to their house with their family. Um, and I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve been around someone, especially someone that, you know, died surprisingly like it was unexpected. Um, there’s nothing you can say. That’s going to fix it. Like, there’s nothing.

You’re gonna say no, that’s gonna make it better. Um, there’s no verse. You can quote, there’s no pray prayer. You can pray. Like there’s nothing, you just sit there with him, that’s it. And there’s a lot of silence. Um, there’s a lot of not saying anything. And I learned through that situation of like, no, sometimes your presence is all that’s needed.

I don’t need to fix anything. I just need to be present. So when people are going through it in their life, like they’re not asking you to fix it, hopefully. Um, You know, do what you can, but at the same time, most of the time, they’re just asking you to be present. You don’t go anywhere, be around, um, you know, the Mount to the same things that you invited them out to beforehand.

Like don’t, don’t pull them out because their life seems to be falling around, even whether it’s their own doing or not. It doesn’t matter. Yeah. Um, I think oftentimes when we see moral failures in people’s lives, uh, man, do we pull the plug really fast? I’m not friends with them anymore. Um, and I think that’s, I think it’s the wrong approach, um, inside the Christian world and I’m guilty of it too.

Like I’ve had friends have had affairs and, um, you know, we’re no longer friends with them. Um, because I thought I was better than them. And you know, I don’t want to associate myself with a sinner. That’s ridiculous. Jesus would never do that. Uh, if he couldn’t tell what the tone of my voice, I was speaking sarcastic folk.

Yeah. Yes. That’s exactly 

Andrew: what Jesus was. One example that I hope ties in. Well, um, but having a two 

Josh: year, I mean, one of those examples that you just kind of like throw it out there and like, if it sticks, it sticks. If it doesn’t apply, you didn’t have them. We, 

Andrew: it might be now. So I’m always trying to like teach my two year old what the Bible says or what it means, like in a real way, because like, it’s, it can be tough to like, Communicate a parable to, to a little tiny girl, you know, is two years old, but I’m doing my best to try to make that a normal part of life.


Josh: or if it was a boy, they understand that he just 

Andrew: kidding me so much 

Josh: easier to take shots 

Andrew: at the feminists. Aye. So, so I have, I have a bunch of chickens as you know, and I’d like to give them treats because I like to treat my chickens well. So I got all this split grain, which is like corn kernels and all this stuff.

That’s kind of like crushed, so it’s small than they can eat it. So I ran out of bird seed the other day. Um, not for my chickens, but just for the birds, because we have a bird feeder and a cool place to watch them in the backyard. So anyway, you’re like an old married couple. 

Josh: Now I know, I know retired, married, couple.

I just put you guys in rocking chairs, watching the bird feeder. 

Andrew: Hilarious thing is my two year old daughter loves watching the birds. Like she loves seeing what birds are around like, Oh, woodpecker, Cardinal. Like it’s ridiculous. So, because she likes it so much, I’m like, I try to get bird seed out there often, you know?

So anyway, I ran out of bird seed that I, um, filled up a cup of like split the split grains for the chickens. And I brought it up. And I dumped it around the birds bird feeder, because we had just gotten like, I dunno, 10 inches of snow, like a lot of snow. And I was like, you know, the birds need food still.

And I poured it out and spread it all around. And you know, within an hour there were just a ton of birds out eating it. And I saw a literal Sparrow and I was like, Catherine Lee, my daughter’s name, look at that. Like there’s a Spiro, you know, and like that, that’s what it looks like that really plain looking bird, but they’re really nice.

And I was like, the Bible tells us that like God feeds the sparrows. He takes care of the sparrows and how much more important are, are. Us like D he sees us as more important than the small birds, but he looks after them. So he cares about us too. And maybe some of that sticks, maybe some of it doesn’t, but for me, it was a good reminder of like, you know, that’s true, but kind of the point of what you were making of like it’s done in community.

Cause like, You know, there were probably 50 birds back here eating all the bird seed. I kind of dumped around. Um, but the reality is I don’t put it out every day. Um, but God makes sure they’re fed every day, every single day. And he does that through community. Um, there’s a lot of people that put bird food out, you know, in this area.

And there’s a lot of just food that happens in the woods for them. Um, but it was just this like cool moment of like, I felt like God almost said to me quietly, like, yeah, sometimes I do that through you. Sometimes I do that through people, you know, like, yeah. I make sure everybody’s fed. I make sure everybody’s looked out for, but you have a part to play basically.

You know? So, um, I think that kind of fits with like what you were saying of going in and sitting in with your friend who is grieving over a loss of a loved one, uh, unexpected loss, you know, like. That’s you, uh, looking out for a real need that somebody has where you obviously can’t fix it. You can’t bring somebody back from the dead and, or replace that relationship they had, but you can go do your small part in community to love well and do her things well.

So I hope that fits, but that’s my bird story for the day. 

Josh: Nice. Like, I think too, like, and we said this last episode, like, yes, God is the source of all things in your life. Like he, he can provide them all and sustain you. Um, but there’s a good portion of what God provides. And he provides them through community, through people, um, that we miss out on when we choose not to engage the community or we miss out on because the community decides not to engage it.

Um, whatever it is. Um, and I think that’s, that’s, you know, the, the two sides to this. This situation is there’s things as a part of the community that I’m responsible for investing into it. Like, am I putting time into loving all elements of our community? Well, um, and investing in all elements of our community well, and putting in, you know, using the gifts that God has given me to bless the rest of them.

Um, and then. The other side is too, is like, am I engaging in community so I can be blessed myself? Or am I keeping separate from everything? Um, because life’s just too hard and I can’t build into another relationship. What if they hurt me again? What if you know all those questions that run through your head, um, as, as you’re digging into deeper into relationship, um, but that’s how God designed it.

That’s what it’s about. And you’re going to get hurt. Like if the quicker you come to the terms with that idea is you’re going to get hurt at some point inside a relationship. I think the easier relationship becomes, because not that you’re going around expecting it. You’re like, Oh, when are they going to hurt me next?

Uh, Oh, they know so much about me. They’re going to use that information against me. Um, well, the more authentic you are and just in general in life, less harm, they’re going to do because you’re just who you are. Um, but yeah. Uh, like there’s a piece of community. I think we’ve missed because we just don’t engage ourselves.

So we’re not blessed by it. Um, and we don’t endure through it because we just don’t have that community around us to help us endure. Like I’ve been through plenty of hard things in my life and communities, the thing that keeps you going, it’s the key thing that you’re like, no, like I don’t, whether it’s, I don’t want to disappoint this person, this person, this person, or I know this person has my back, no matter what.

Um, and that gives you the, the, uh, Um, the endurance to keep pushing through whatever happens to be going on. If you start to hear my dog barking, um, you might not because this microphone is pretty good, but, uh, he’s sleeping right now. So he’s barking at something and to sleep. The only time he parks these days is probably sleeping.

Andrew: I always wonder what tax dreams are about, you know, but 

Josh: maybe one day I think my dog dreams of being a big dog. And he, like, he like punish his other dogs, which is like really scary to everybody else at once. Yeah. Because he’s opposite of that. He has a tube outside without me. And I’m like two days, three days.

Maybe, maybe 

Andrew: he’s like, when I’m a big dog dreams, I poop anywhere I want. Cause I’m a big dog. 

Josh: Maybe that’s what it is. You just like, yeah. I don’t care if you bark at me, 

Andrew: scared me. I’m scaring you. Um, no, I, I can’t hear him, so we’re good. We’re good. Maybe the people will we’ll find out, but, um, yeah man, I, I don’t know, love, endures all things without weakening and I dunno, how do we get practical on this?

Like, I feel like we’ve. That’s maybe been one of the strengths of, of this whole series of podcasts that we’ve been doing is we’ve tried really hard to get practical around each aspect of what love does and doesn’t do. So how do we endure all things like w what are your thoughts on getting real practical today this week about it?

Josh: I think with like a lot of these things, just take the right next step. Like, I think you’re gonna get, um, if you’re paying attention, I think you’re going to get prompting from Jesus in certain areas that you shouldn’t, you know, invest, engage, uh, encourage challenge, um, in certain relationships. Um, and I think, um, just take that right next step in that do whatever that is.

Um, You know, and always be looking for opportunities to, to endure, I think, um, and I know this isn’t a practice of ours that, that we typically did dig into on a regular basis, um, because enduring is hard and who the heck wants to do that. Uh, but look for ways to endure, like this is why fasting, I think plays a role because it reframes things you have to endure.

Um, so you know, that Jesus habit of fasting I think is super helpful. Um, but yeah, look for opportunities to intern relationship, you know, you have those people around you that. Man that just takes some extra love. Um, oftentimes those people we like to, you know, put them at a distance for awhile. Cause you’re like, I don’t have any more love to give to them.

Um, but maybe it’s, Hey, maybe I should engage them first this time. Maybe I should reach out to them. Instead of them being always the one that reaches out to me, cause I don’t want to invest. Um, You know, for, for whatever reason they’re there. And maybe you can find a purpose in that relationship, um, and dig into it.

Um, so just, I think it’d be intentional. Just look for those opportunities and look for ways to engage, I think, expand your community circle. Um, I think so often we get overwhelmed with our immediate families. Um, and I’ll have to love these individuals well, and that’s important. Um, but that, isn’t the only relationships that Jesus calls us to.

Um, there’s plenty of other relationships around you that he’s definitely calling you into and you should be investing in and loving well there. Um, so look for those opportunities, um, And you only if you’re at a place, I think this too, like so often the enemy’s goal is, is to segregate us from our community.

Right? I’m too tired. I’m too, whatever, whatever the issue is going on, you know, I’m too depressed. I can’t engage any more of this. Like so many of those issues often go away when I choose to invest in community. Hm. I mean, Jews choose to invest in my people, um, and maybe it’s way outside your comfort zone, but you need to be the one that starts the next gathering.

And she’s sending out the group text of like, Hey, I’ll host this week. I want to do this, this and this. Um, anyone interested? In whoever’s interested comes, and then you’ll be out at this point. And you’re like, well, the people that wanted to come didn’t come get over yourself. Uh, the friends around you or the friends that around you like investor who’s their subjects and relationships you don’t have.

Um, like I think that’s another piece that we just. Especially as Americans, we screw up royally on a regular basis. Like the friendships you have, the relationships you have with the ones you have, look for new ones. Sure. Great. But stop chasing ones that just don’t seem to like click just because you really like that person.

Um, I remember being, man, it must’ve been at one a year. It might use, you got them together for what he used to call it. The flow club was a full 

Andrew: club, float club, dude and flow flow club. Yeah. Freedom flow. That was the 4th of July in your floats, but yeah, float club. Yeah. 

Josh: I’ve never been there. I don’t remember who said it.

Um, but one person said about another person, uh, and I just found it so weird and strange, but they’re just like, I’m going to be that person’s friend. That’s my goal today. I’m going to become their friend. Like I need to know. I don’t even know what to do with that. I don’t know if that’s good. I don’t know if that’s bad, but it feels really weird to me.

I want nothing to do with it. 

Andrew: Yeah. I don’t think relationships should be approached that way. I think it should be ironically more like a more like stepbrothers where you’re like, you have a moment and you’re just like, Did we just become best friends. That’s, that’s a better 

Josh: way, rather than you fight for 30 minutes of the 

Andrew: movie.

That’s right. I love that movie, but, um, but where it’s more like surprising, almost is my point where it’s more like, Whoa, we’re actually friends now. Like, I don’t know how this happened, but we’re friends now. Um, and, and I’m going to hang on. I’ve 


Josh: that conversation with people. Yeah. Um, you know, I have friends that have asked me, like, why are we friends?

Not as like a negative way of like, why do we keep doing this? It’s not working, but like, he’s like, why do you, you know, why do you want to hang out with me? And you’re like, what? I’ve never had that question before. Uh, I like you. I don’t like you like you, but I like, sometimes I like you like you, but I like you, right?

Like, I don’t know. We just all 

Andrew: made me laugh that one time and we’ve just hung out 

Josh: there and it seems to work. Like I enjoy hanging out with you. Like, I don’t know why we’re friends stop asking weird questions to make them this all mushy. Let’s just be men kidding. Uh, so there’s that piece? I don’t know.

Some of my closest friends in life pursued me. Um, I’ll be honest. I’m probably better being pursued than pursuing in general. Uh, like that’s my life, but yeah, I think, you know, take a chance on new relationships. Like yeah. I think we find meaning in life when you find new friends. Yeah. Oh, don’t please.

Don’t just, don’t find new friends. Get rid of 

Andrew: your other friends. Love endures off their nerds. Oh, I’m sorry. Somehow we were both talking at the same time. I talked over you. What’d you say? 

Josh: I don’t remember keep going. 

Andrew: I was just going to say real practical, uh, along the lines of all of what you were just saying is like pick up the phone and whether that’d be to shoot a text off to somebody or Snapchat or call or whatever you do with your phone people, there’s too many avenues to use it, but.

Communicate with somebody, uh, reach out to somebody who you haven’t talked to in awhile that you miss or you’ve had on a mental list of like, I need to call them back. I need to make 10 minutes, like. You don’t have to make two hours for a catch-up. You can just call people as you’re, as you’re taking a quick walk or as you’re doing some other thing, you know, um, for me, I really enjoy podcasts, but I have to like remind myself of like, no, I should actually.

Catch up with somebody. Do you know, I should call a friend. I should call whoever. Um, and just as we were talking about a good friend from college whose marriage fell apart in a way that I was really sad about, um, and basically, um, I, I need to reach out to them and in this conversation reminded me of that.

Like I need to, um, I need to reach out and let them know. I still care about him, you know, and I still want to be his friend because he’s probably sitting over there like, well, when that happened, Andrew gave up on me and that’s the reality is that’s, that’s not the case. I was frustrated, you know, but I need to pick up the phone and call and I’m going to try to do that.

Uh, today I am going to do that today. So anyway, man, just trying to get practical is like, don’t, don’t be quick to give up, you know, love and doers, all things. And, uh, You can be frustrated with people. You can take a minute of a break in, in being as close, but you shouldn’t just let Bridget just be burned easily, you know, uh, you should be known for fighting for relationships, not being quick to give up on them.

Josh: This is good. Be known for fighting for relationships. Yeah. Um, I think, I think oftentimes that’s not a characteristic of, of us and. The definitely is, uh, an attractive characteristic, uh, for the sake of the gospel. If we are a people that, um, fight for relationships, um, maybe known for those kinds of people, I think that’s, that’s huge.

Now don’t manipulate, don’t try to control it. That’s what we’re talking about here. Finding for relationships in a healthy way, please people. Um, and I think that’s, I think that’s great. I think that’s, that’s a solid word that, that we can walk away with, you know, my fighting for. Am I fighting for relationships.

Andrew: Yeah. Sweet. Well, thanks man. I’m glad it I’m glad it came out. That’s uh, that’s what makes the Holy spirit so cool. Is he sometimes gives us really smart words like that are really wise words, but, um, yeah, I do. I want to be known for fighting for relationships and it’s not my natural, um, bent. I’m usually quicker to live in the moment and just be friends with whoever’s close, but.

Yeah, man. I want, I see. I hope to be known for that. So, um, yeah. Thanks for being my friend, Josh. Thanks for recording this. Thanks for doing this man. It’s uh, It’s almost 2021. And that means a new year. You guys, just, as you’re listening, 

Josh: as you’re listening to, this is definitely 20, 21 already. Um, so hopefully things are really great.

Hopefully like everyone just changed in a moment’s notice. COVID is over. They eliminated it from the world. Uh, you can go outside again. It’s kind of like, this is a different analogy, but same picture. Uh, have you ever seen, I don’t even know what movie it is. I think it’s a Chris rock movie and he’s running for president maybe.

Um, and it comes out that he’s about to win. So, uh, all the white people in the California, like there’s a scene of them, like running out of their houses to like the polling place? No, it’s like one of the, kind of, one of those jokes. That’s how I picture when COVID is over people just like running into the street and they’re like, what.

This is what life is like the sun. I didn’t know that. And like, there’ll be all bitch sunburns and be able to see, cause they haven’t been outside in, in decades. But a moment when, uh, uh, Brendan Frazier lived in that house under underground that his parents built. What was that called? Whatever that movie was.

It was like nineties movie. Uh, and he like comes out for the first time and like opens it up and like they built a seven 11 or something on top of his bunker. Uh, and he’s like, Oh, it’s so bright. Kind of one of those moments like, Oh, I get to be in the sun again. Life is so good. Um, hopefully it lives up to people’s expectations.

There’s my fear of like, everyone’s like, Oh, 21, 2020, one’s going to be the best year ever. And then you’re like, no, 20, 21 sucks. And my advice to you as you start off this new year is 2021 is going to be whatever you make it to be. Even if bad things happened to you. Your your perspective and your response to those situations is going to dictate what your 2021 is going to look like.

Um, so hold on to that. And then just your 

Andrew: relationship with them cheer at a time. Don’t, don’t always think of your life as a year. Think about the moment you’re in, you know, and make some plans, but today’s today, that’s all you got, you know, Make the most of it. 

Josh: It’s good. Yeah. It makes the, most of it spend some time with Jesus start that habit.

Um, because that’s a habit that’s going to sustain you and, and bring you better clarity on what this life’s supposed to look like and who you are supposed to be inside of that life. Invest in relationship, uh, with, with others. Um, look for relationships that love Jesus and love you in that order and invest in those and grow as a follower of Jesus and grow as a fellow follower of Jesus with others.

Um, and that that’s Jesus commands. So that’s why we’ve spent the last 33 episodes talking about our relationship with God and our now our relationship with others, because this is what Jesus commanded to do. So I’d love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself.

These are the greatest commandments, all the law and the prophets, hang on these two. Um, and that’s really why we’ve dug into this next couple of episodes or a few episodes, depending on how it plays out. Um, we’re going to get into just loving yourself. We’re going to hit it quickly because I think you spend way too.

We’ve we spend way too much time on it. It’s just not healthy. Um, I think we spend enough time focusing on ourselves. I think we’re just going to cover some key things that I think are important, um, that we think are important, um, to helping you love yourself. Well, so we can get you to a place where you can love others and love God.

Well, and then they can do the same thing. Um, so we’ve got to love ourselves to start this whole thing 

Andrew: off. Thanks for listening to our show. It really means a lot to us, and we hope that it helps bring you closer your relationship with Jesus and with other people. 

Josh: And also helps us out if you rate our podcast or leave us a review on whatever platform you’re listening, go.

So follow us on Instagram and the Facebook. Now sharing this with your friends. Isn’t just to get the word out of a podcast. We believe that we have the message of hope that’s found in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you sharing. This has the ability to transform the lives 

Andrew: of the people around you. We want to hear from you.

You can email us at hello at this Jesus life podcast. Dot com you can message us on Facebook and Instagram, or you can just visit [email protected] But seriously, thanks for listening. .

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