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Calm as a Cucumber
Episode No. 27

Emotions get the best of us often and anger if you are like us probably tops that list. Unfortunately, anger doesn’t build relationships. If we are called to relationship, we have to work hard to dig into the cause of our anger and behave accordingly.

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Josh: Hello. Hello. Hello. We’re just two normal dudes trying to live this jesus’ life. My name is Josh.

Andrew: Hey. I’m Andrew and we are this Jesus life podcast, judge.

Josh: How

Andrew: are you today? My friend

Josh: do it. It is good to see you and pixelated form. Yeah. Good to see you. And pixelated form.

Andrew: You know, my internet says this polo average in, uh, actually very bad network.


Josh: a little bit.

Andrew: Yeah,

Josh: that’s weird.

Andrew: You know, we’re staying even, how are you in this? Uh, so this is the week after the election when we’re recording. Um, I’m glad to have that done. How you feeling, man?

Josh: Yeah, I wish it was done. I’m glad that

Andrew: first by

Josh: some it’s still, still seems contested. I don’t know. We’ll see how it all plays out, but.

Uh, yeah, it’s nice to not have the political ads. Like every two seconds. I didn’t get two text messages. So that was nice. Did you know that you can’t so like you can sign up for the, I don’t know what it’s called, do not message me or something with the FCC. You can like put your phone up and say you can’t, but it does not apply to political messages.

They can still contact you.

Andrew: Are you serious?

Josh: But I didn’t get any text messages this year. So I wonder if, wow. I wonder if they just have my old phone number and that’s what

Andrew: they, me. A ridiculous number. And I would say on election day, I got a solid 15 or 20 alone that day. Like don’t forget to get out and vote.

And I live in Pennsylvania and all of that stuff. So,

Josh: you know, I believe you personally, for everything going on in Pennsylvania right now, like I just assume it’s your fault.

Andrew: It was my fault. I went, I boarded up the, um, I, I took some boards down in cardboard, duct tape, and I, you know, sealed up all the windows of the official.

Josh: You know, ballad County place in Philly

Andrew: and Pittsburgh and, uh, yeah, man, I was causing all kinds of trouble on election

Josh: day. For sure. That’s an interest state, uh, because like your two major cities on either side of the state. Totally.

Andrew: And then a lot of people just live like pretty rural all throughout.

Josh: Like I had friends that lived in Pennsylvania, um, And they were in the middle of nowhere. Um, it was a good experience going to church was like an hour’s drive to get this tiny church, um, which was like dying.

Andrew: I

Josh: would say now that the election’s over 2020 starting to look up, like not only is the election done, but.

They, they found the first murder hornets’ nest and remove that a couple of weeks ago. So that’s a win, win, then big then whoever removed it did say this is a good start, but have a long ways to go. Um, which makes me think there’s more murder Hornets and they’re not telling us the whole story. I’m not sure, but I’m glad they got the first ones.

And do you see like the gifts, you see the pictures of like. What they were wearing, they were wearing

Andrew: like, hold on, dude. It did look like bars landing. That was crazy. Yeah. So that happened. Um, I did have one more chicken die recently, but I have 15 very healthy chickens. Now

Josh: he said that last time. Thanks.

Yeah. You said that when it went to 16, that they’re all healthy and apparently that wasn’t true. Well at 15, I’m just

Andrew: feeling like things could not be better, you know, at this point. Um, that’s good.

Josh: At what point? Like what number do you get to? You’re like, Hmm, this might not be working.

Andrew: If I can, under 10, I’m going to panic.

You know, I still got some wiggle room.

Josh: How long is the chicken lift for before? You’re like time to die.

Andrew: They live like seven years typically or more. Um,

Josh: yeah, they like that entire time.

Andrew: Yeah. They have like six to seven years of like prime, egg egg-laying and then they kind of taper off after that. So, you know, theoretically, uh, these 15 could make it for the next seven or eight years, but, uh, you know, statistically, it’s not looking great.

Josh: So what do you do with the chicken body after it’s dead?

Andrew: There’s probably a proper way and an improper way to take care of a chicken body. Um, I happen to live in an area where there are foxes and coyotes, uh, very close by. So I may or may not take the chicken and, uh, and throw it down the Hill in the woods.

Josh: You should like, I wouldn’t throw it like near your house. When you’re the neighbor that neighbor you don’t like, like throw it near their house. Dead chicken. No, no, it needs to be open though, because like, Kevin’s got to get to it right. Then you can’t actually put it in their mailbox. That’s a federal crime.

I didn’t know that that’d be wrong. That’d be the wrong way to do it. Yeah,

Andrew: no, I take it. I dig deep into the forest and Chuck it down the Hill because I know that there’s a lot of things that will eat that quickly.

Josh: Um,

Andrew: you know, so there’s that, there’s that

Josh: boy. Yeah. We’re still talking about relationships, but we’re getting to that.

I assume you’ve got some questions that. Yeah,

Andrew: I think I know the answer to this, but Josh, is it better to steal a candy from a baby or a baby from a candy? What

Josh: is a better to steal candy from a baby? I will walk away with the baby and leave the candy bar behind.

Andrew: Yeah. You leave the candy and it’s placed, but you take the baby.

Josh: Yeah, Nope. Nope.

Andrew: So it’s better to take the candy from the baby. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah. Like candy has no responsibility, baby does. No part of me wants to take baby. That’s a good point then I want it to be like in charge of it. No, that seems like a bad day. Okay,

Andrew: Josh? Um, this one’s a little more serious, uh, but can I borrow some money and promise to pay you back, but not really mean it.

Josh: Yeah, I’ll give you 20 bucks.

Andrew: Oh, thanks, dude.

Josh: Um, like put it in the mail. Yeah. My nephews were here a couple of weeks ago and I have like, I have like funny money downstairs. So like, it it’s like,

Andrew: like fake faces or like, uh,

Josh: no, no, no, no. In a second legit money, it looks like a hundred. Like it stacks a hundred dollar bills and like Rapids and everything, but like there’s like Chinese lettering or something on the back and there’s something on the front to make it not, um, But I was paying them that money to pick up the dog poop in the backyard.

Um, the younger nephew took it like he was in the older than everyone. No part of it, like he’s ever seen a a hundred dollars bill before, you know? Yeah. Um, okay. These

Andrew: questions kind of stink, man. Um,

Josh: I’m not

Andrew: trying to make them good, but you know, it’s just, uh, it’s just not, not that great. Um, Yeah. I don’t know, uh, want to see who can drink more milk?

That’s one of the questions that’s dumb.

Josh: No, but when I was in high school, I took a, I knew what it was called. Media productions, I think is what it’s called. It’s like a film class and I took it back to back semesters. I don’t know if it was my senior year. I might’ve taken it again my senior year. Cause it was like a throwaway class.

Yeah, easy. A’s you got to film and you got to leave all the time. So like we go to McDonald’s cause we were saying we’re filming our video at McDonald’s. That’s awesome. Cause it’s all of our, our, all of our videos. That’s something to do with McDonald’s because give us the keys to

Andrew: getting McDonald’s.

Yeah, it’s funny.

Josh: So every day we just screwed around for an hour and a half or however long our classes were and didn’t really do anything. Okay. One of the videos we shot was someone drinking a gallon of milk in the back parking lot. Like throw for

Andrew: throwing up for awhile. Throw up.

Josh: Yeah, it was so gross,

Andrew: dude.

When I went to an RA in college, we did, I instituted that we should do the milk challenge as a dorm.

Josh: Um, dude, I got, we,

Andrew: we had this. Yeah, it was outside, but the problem was, there were probably a hundred. College dudes outside all with their own gallon of milk. Everybody had their own gallon. So. Uh, we all along the door, everybody was lined up and it was like, okay, three, two, one go.

And an air horn went because you had to drink it within a certain amount of time and then keep it down for a certain amount of time. So it was like five minutes to drink it. And then you had to keep it down an hour to win. Um, I think the one who made it the longest, just like 20 minutes, but dude, so just everybody chugging their gallon of whole milk.

And then. Then in the landscape, whole milk. And then in the landscape, there was like these landscape rocks slide, like river rocks lining the edge of the dorm and everybody was standing. So everybody was just at some point turning in projectile puking milk into

Josh: those rocks.

Andrew: And here’s the thing that was the worst part of that whole idea

Josh: for

Andrew: two, for the neck, like three weeks, it did not rain and it smelled horrible.

Josh: The whole dorm,

Andrew: like all along the edge, like it was just really, really bad.

Josh: Oh, that’s miserable. Yeah. No, it’s like that’s no, thank you. Yeah. Seeing that vomit is so gross. There’s so many stupid things we did in that class and we filmed it all. Cause we had cameras. So like. We, uh, we set a fire extinguisher off on a dude in the bathroom, like his tiny little bathroom.

And he’d be like, get rushed to the hospital because he like, like, cause like those were poisonous. That’s pretty good, dude. You filmed it for like six different camera angles. Cause there’s like six different groups on there.

Andrew: The teacher’s like, okay, really good job capture capturing the ankle

Josh: really bad job with the content.

Oh, I don’t know if he ever knew, I don’t really know what he did.

Andrew: So many of those moments that end like with, and they had to go to the hospital and we had to tell your parents that. Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: I got a game pulled on me where you’re like,

Andrew: that was a dumb decision.

Josh: That’s fair.

Andrew: All right. Hey, this is one random question.

Not super funny, but it might be, but I was curious, do you have any trashy TV shows that you enjoy watching? Like the bachelor or anything like that? Yeah. Yeah. Do you watch any of that stuff? No, no, no,

Josh: no. I watch. So I’m watching right now, new girl while I’m going to bed. Except the

Andrew: last season, all of them are really good.

Except the last season.

Josh: It’s like the officer, you just like turn it on, but you’re like half paying attention. Yeah. And then I’m also watching entourage going through entourage again. Nice. This was a good show.

Andrew: I just started a new show on Amazon prime called alive and they drop these dudes off at, uh, these crazy, like crazy like rainforest islands outside of Vancouver.

Um, like in the ocean basically, and they just have to survive as long as they can, like alone, no contact with anybody else. They filmed themselves. And, um, and the, the person who lasts the longest gets $500,000.

Josh: Dang, pretty intense. But you don’t know, like if someone’s all lasted, you. I,

Andrew: I kinda think like from, I think when the person picks you up, they’re like, you’re the second to go home.

You’re the fifth to go home. You’re the,

Josh: but when you make the decision to go home, you don’t know where you are in the list.

Andrew: Exactly. Exactly. You have no idea

Josh: if you’re that means I would stay out there forever.

Andrew: You’re just saying, this is

Josh: how this is going to work. I’m going to win all this money,

Andrew: but it’s a good show.

I would recommend it. I watched a one and a half episodes last night and I’m a fan. That’s good.

Josh: Huh? Yeah. I don’t watch a lot of reality TV. I don’t really know that they ever have.

Andrew: I likes the bachelorette though, man. That’s what I was asking for is, cause I’ve got, I’ve seen now chunks of a bunch of different episodes and I’m like that.

It’s just second your wife

Josh: to send me pictures of you with your popcorn, all across legs, sitting on the couch, completely engaged in the bales and painted.

Andrew: Oh man. Yep. Class Rose Day. Yeah. Tuesday night, you know?

Josh: Oh, you even know at nights at night, it’s on. I do because

Andrew: my daughter just sleep so that Janet can

Josh: watch.

That’s funny. Yeah. Like I used to watch real world who just say

Andrew: haters gonna hate you love the drama.

Josh: She texts. So. Uh, yeah. I used to watch real world back in the day. And then there was a small stint of what’s that one where they like, just have cameras all over the house and they’re like living this like fake we can have, Oh, build their hood or big brother.

Yeah. Yeah. My mom used to watch that. She might still, I don’t know if it’s on TV, but that was all that was about it for me. Yeah. Andrew, before we get into the conversation for today, what’s your most embarrassing moment or story?

Andrew: I most embarrassing moment or story, man. I told that story on a previous episode, the one time I think I might’ve been most embarrassed in my life was when I pulled the fire alarm in sixth grade.

Um, And everybody knew I did it

Josh: and it was 100%

Andrew: accident, but nobody believed me. I was so embarrassed and terrified. I was like, I’m going to get kicked out of school. Like, I’m going to be, the police are going to come. Like all of this stuff. That was just one moment where I was just so mortified at what had happened.


Josh: I’m like, nobody believes me. This was like a backpack or something that like

Andrew: granted stupid like that, the zip up, like three ring binder thing. Like the

Josh: zip binder zipper

Andrew: literally got stuck in the handle. And when I was, we moved it down. Cause there was a pretty girl coming through the doorway. So it was like, no, go ahead.

Then I moved it down and then,

Josh: Oh, that’s funny.

Andrew: Yeah. What about,

Josh: what about you didn’t eat, come out

Andrew: knowing I think that that fire alarm must’ve been pulled a bunch of times before.

Josh: It’s one of those, like, it’s those things of like, man, if kids could just figure it out. Some things that just don’t really matter.

Like you pulling a fire alarm, let’s be honest, not that big of a deal, but to you, it was terrifying. Like how powerful a child could be when they realize it doesn’t matter. Like terrifying is that kid when he like, comes that realization of like, I can deal with anything. It doesn’t really matter

Andrew: in seventh grade.

Josh: Yeah. Hopefully my children aren’t like that. That’d be a bad day. Um, um, my

Andrew: moment. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah. I don’t know. Probably in, probably in middle school, to be honest, that’s probably your most embarrassing time in general. Um,

Andrew: that’s a hard question on the spot to be honest. Yeah, I’m sure

Josh: I wet my pants in like second grade.

Um, out of protest to my teacher, and then I realized what I just did. So that was, that’s a pretty symmetric moment. We’re like, Aw, shoot. Uh,

Andrew: Jared. I was watching impractical jokers the other night and didn’t, we can get moving on this conversation, but it’s really a funny moment. The punishment was that Sal got put in an escape room with a bunch of random people and he had, and he was wearing khakis and a wet himself.

And then continue the escape room. Couldn’t leave

Josh: till they like got out.

And just like, like nothing happened, he

Andrew: just tried to downplay it. Like

Josh: basically,

Andrew: like you guys have really got to go to the bathroom. Like, can I, can I leave for just a minute?

Josh: You know? And then he just, I don’t think I’d be able to do that. Yeah. Like on command. I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t think my body would be like, yeah, it’s okay.

Yeah. I don’t think would let me pee. That’s funny moment though, for everybody else in the room, you’re just like, Oh,

Andrew: and then he, but then he had to spend like another 40 minutes, but

Josh: he kept the

Andrew: rest of the punishment was that he had to keep trying to get involved in solving stuff and everybody

Josh: there in tiny room. It’s great.

Andrew: That’s really good.

Josh: I still want to make an escape room. That sounds like a lot of fun.

Andrew: Yes,

Josh: yes. To figure it out,

Andrew: dude, this episode is that we are being called or is we’re calling it calm as a cucumber. Tell me. Why, what are we doing here,

Josh: bro? I don’t know why you named it.

Andrew: No, I mean, tell me about our subject today.

That’s all I was meaning

Josh: about.

Andrew: Tell me why I thought today.

Josh: Finally, only to the part of, of first Corinthians 13. Uh, that love is slow to anger. So if you don’t know if you’re just catching it for the very first time, um, we’re kind of in this season of, of relationship. So we think because, you know, God has called us to be in great relationship with himself and great relationship with one another, as we’ve in the great commandment Kim and mince.

Um, and we’re just kind of play that out and we decided, well, what’s the better way to play this out in terms of relationships with one another than to love one another. Well, and how do we love one another? Well, first Corinthians 13. Well, and that’s simply love is patient love is kind. It does not have the, it does not boast.

It’s not proud. It does not dishonor others. It’s not self-seeking it’s not easily. Angered keeps records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So love is not easily angered. And I don’t know about you, but we’re in an election season while we’re at the end of it.

Um, but even still like, I was on Facebook last night. And somebody posted something about Biden. The didn’t even vote for Biden. They’re pretty, or sorry. Didn’t even vote for Trump. I voted for a third-party candidate cause he didn’t like either of the two candidates and like dude was jumped on it in like no time.

Um, and you’re just like, man, like one. Probably shouldn’t ever post those kinds of things on the internet. You’re just asking for it to like, it’s that whole concept of like in Trump supporters do the same thing. Um, once you’ve kind of decided what camp you’re in, um, then you have to, and that decision, right?

Like that’s how you feel of like, I have to defend my decision constantly. Yeah. And I think this is where people struggled with Trump. Um, Even the, probably even now of his behavior though, I agreed with a lot of his policy. He spent a lot of money. I don’t agree with that, but, um, Ooh, lots of his policies, degreed, if I didn’t agree with his behavior and a lot of people couldn’t disconnect those two, like if I’m voting for this guy, I’m voting for everything about him, his character and all those things.

Um, oops. I just hit my microphone. Sorry. Um, and. It’s the same now with, with Biden though, these individuals that have voted for him and supported him are now going to defend him at all costs. Um, even to the point of illogical, illogical, illogical arguments, um, and just to make, just to win the argument and just like, is it really worth it?

Like, it’s like, Who cares? Sure. I voted for Trump. Trump didn’t win. Well, at least that’s what the news is telling us.

Andrew: Yes, we’ll see. We’ll see

Josh: what happens. And I’m not saying it’s going to go that way. Let’s be honest. You can’t come back from, from a president being. Projected like civil war happens. You come back from that, right?

Like, I don’t know.

Andrew: Hey, okay. All I’ll say is that in 2000, uh, they projected that Gore one. Uh, and then they had it as Gore winning for like a month until Bush won. So you never know, but if Biden wins, we might get to see a president poop, his pants on TV. Um, so that could be cool.

Josh: Um, no, we’re going to see the first woman, woman, woman, president.

Yeah. But

Andrew: that’s like six months after he accepts,

Josh: you know, no, I told you this before we got, we’re getting super political. We don’t mean anything by it. Don’t get pissed off at us. This is the episode about anger. Yeah. But I told you this how it’s going to play out. He’s going to get sworn in. Um, and at inauguration day he just took his hand off the Bible.

He’s going to take a paper out of his, his coat, which is article, is it 24? What’s what’s where he transfer which one it is. And he’s going to sign it over and hand it to Carmella.

Andrew: Yes, it could happen, but okay. Let, wrapping up politics for the moment. Cause c’mon, we’re talking about not being easily anchored. We’re probably going to go back to that in a little bit, but, um, yeah, I feel like we’re in this. We, we are in this weird outrage culture right now where, like you say something that, that goes against the tenants of what, like my stated beliefs are.

Right. Yeah. And in the socially accepted thing is that I should just like, totally shame you or call you the worst name I can think of, or I don’t know, or isolate or, or tell everybody, just take a clip of what you shared and share it out and say what a bigot, you know, like or whatever. Like it’s like this.

Outrage of like, it’s good to be outraged or like there’s merit in being outraged.

Josh: If you’re not outraged, you’re in the wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Like it’s that methodology or that idea

Andrew: bonkers, in my opinion. And it’s not healthy for our culture and it’s definitely not what Jesus modeled. It’s like, it’s not it.


Josh: like, I understand there’s things in the world that. That create outrage inside of you. I get that, like things that happen. There’s definitely triggers for me that when I read about those things, like, um, I’m pissed automatically. Um, but it’s, it’s what you do with that anger and there’s righteous anger as well.

Like we’re not saying all anger is bad. Like Jesus was clear. Um, there’s, uh, like not anger is okay. Anger is not the issue, but anger leads to issues. Yeah. Um, like anger leads to sin essentially. So we have to get really slow to it. And, you know, we only have one example of Jesus, um, becoming angry and I don’t have the reference off the top of my head, but it’s going to be in the gospels because Jesus,

Andrew: in the gospel, and in this example, uh, people were using the temple to profit, like selling birds, selling all kinds of things.

Inside the prophet of the temple. So Jesus went and flipped tables and drove them out like,

Josh: uh, Mar Mark three, one through six.

I just, I just typed it angry Jesus versus.

Show me that anger though. See it all. The only time we really saw Jesus angry, uh, even when his ear was cut off, do didn’t get angry. Um, so here’s the one moment he felt, I would assume. I don’t think it exactly says what he said was wrong, but we’re assuming by his actions, uh, how they were treating God’s God’s Holy place.

God’s presence at that time, the temple, um, Is what pissed him off and got angry over it. But the important part of this is, um, it wasn’t anger that like, it wasn’t anger that STEM from his emotion. Um, like sure. It probably triggered something, you know, him being fully human. Um, but, but he took his time to get angry, like so much so that he, he made a whip.

So like, I don’t know if you’ve ever met a whip. It takes some time to make a whip. It’s not like. You just grab some, some leather and you got a whip, like you gotta, it takes a little bit of time to put it together. So he made a whip. He didn’t just grab one, he made one and then he started whipping people with it, which is freaking sweet.

Plenty of people with a wet,

Andrew: intimidating weapon choice, you know, like that big stick. Nope. I’m going to sit here and make this whip and then I’m going to use it on you.

Josh: Not only that, like let’s dig into this even further and this isn’t. There’s no theology in this. We’re just, I’m just talking, but like why a whip?

Like, why not? Why not a sword? Why not a big stick? Like you said, why not? Um, rocks. Why was he chucking rocks at people? Um, well I think cause a width isn’t, isn’t, life-threatening, you’re going to be killed by a whip. It’s not a thing

Andrew: it’s kind of hurting though. It’s going to hurt. You’re going to move out of the way

Josh: quick.

There’s an intentionality of like, Yeah, it’s it’s hurt. It makes loud noises, but it’s not actually damaging, right? Like, you’re going to have a sting on your arm, maybe a bruise, but it’s going to go away. You start beating people with a stick

rocks. You start waving a sword around, like things are gonna happen. Um, so like there’s even intentionality from that perspective that we could even look at it and say, Oh, like liquid. So the point is anger is not bad, but. Anger. Shouldn’t be your first emotion you’re going to, I think that’s when you’re in the wrong.

Um, no matter what the topic is, and we all know our triggers, right? There’s certain things when they’re talked about, I get pissed really fast. Um, how do I avoid those things, I guess is our question.

Andrew: So, okay. Something just before we dive in a little bit more, a cool example of not being easily anchored.

So somebody that, um, Maybe still listens to the show. Hopefully she does, but she was in youth group when we were kind of leaders of youth group, um, together. Uh, at our old church anyway, um, she shared on Instagram recently that she had this, um, flight where, uh, a lady was kind of right behind her in the row, right behind her and was just talking really, really loudly and saying a lot of things about abortion that she disagreed with and saying a lot of things like.

It’s crazy or it’s so fucked up that men think they have any say in a portion and all this stuff, you know, things that were just like really inflammatory, if you didn’t believe them to be true. And, uh, in her friend said that kind of everybody around her was just like shaking their heads. Like think of that lady was crazy in a lot of ways, but, um, she didn’t say anything the moment she just let it go.

Cause she’s like, I’m not going to change minds. Um, the only reason I’d say anything was kind of just to. Fight constantly or make her feel like we, not everybody disagree, agrees with you, but then, uh, our friend goes on Tik TOK and shares kind of an argument of that. You know, argument as a, strawman got over a million views.

Um, and she wasn’t like hating on the person that was saying that on the airplane, she was just given like both sides of the argument and a pretty fair way. And dude, yeah, literally got over a million views and I was just thinking about that and I’m like, wow, how cool is that? That she chose not to get easily anchored in that moment and then turned it around into something that.

At least made a lot of people think, you know, or a lot of people maybe reconsider or, or think about it, of like, Oh yeah, I can have this conversation without screaming, you know, or digitally screaming. So it was just kind of cool of like, wow, you chose to hold your anger and God did something cool with that.

You know, you used it for good rather than for evil. So it’s kind of cool.

Josh: Yeah. And the reality is like,

When have you ever wanted argument when you were angry? Yeah. Right. Like the second anger enters the picture, like all logics out, out the window. Yeah. Um,

Andrew: yeah, you don’t win when you’re angry.

Josh: Sorry. I’m just reading it. We have a chat feature in the app that we use and he was telling me what he’s talking about, which I figured out as we’re talking, but it says new message from decisive.

What’s your name? RP, RP, Gator. He just randomly assigns us names if we don’t write one in and then today decisive

Andrew: arepas or whatever in our beginners, whatever that is.

Josh: Um, yeah, no, like the second you get angry, frustrated, like you’re not going to think straight. Like that’s the reality of it, you know, like you’ve, you’ve already lost.

Um, So, I don’t know, is it the question becomes, is it worth it? And then the other question is how do I control it? Like anger, such a, um, overpowering emotion. Like how do I. When I start to feel that coming on, like, how do I overcome it? Like, how do I make sure I’m slow to anger and not allowing myself just to jump there because you know, the people that jump there constantly, right?

There are people you don’t want to be around. Like they’re no fun. They’re, they’re not enjoyable. Um, I don’t know if you’ve ever worked for an angry leader, but man is that miserable? Like, it’s just not worth it. Like, um, Like, I don’t want to put myself in those situations. Cause that’s the, the, um, the, uh, what’s the word?

Bible the Bible, the Bible says no, just the enjoyment of life is sucked out of the room so quickly. It’s just not worth it. Um, so you don’t want to be one of those people that maybe you’re sitting there and you are one of those people, like anger is your emotion. And if, if I like had a prominent emotion in my life, it’s probably anger, um, emotion.

I know. The best? Um, not because I get angry often, but because I’m just not that emotional of a person. So I don’t really recognize the other emotions. Maybe my IQ is really low except for anger. I don’t know. Um, so there’s that piece where you, like, if that’s where you’re at, you’re constantly coming back to anger.

Like, how do you. How do you slow it down? How do you make sure that it’s not your first emotion and that presents itself? When I, when you’re find yourself in a disagreement or conflict over something, um, like how do you take the example of, of, you know, the individual that, you know, you just shared about, um, rather than, um,

Andrew: Well, it’s a, it’s a choice that you don’t necessarily make in the moment, right?

Like you were saying, like, even down into that, that example of like choosing to make a whip, you know, rather than pick up a baseball bat or a gun or a rock or whatever, it’s like, no, I I’m going to be angry, but I am angry about this. I’m going to be angry about it later. So I’m going to take my time on it to, to act in a specific way, not just to outburst, you know, um, But, but you don’t make that decision in the moment.

Like if you’re just living moment to moment, like, well, I may, I may boil over any second then, then you inevitably are going to at some point, you know? Um, but if you’re walking through life saying, no, I’m going to live more like the James verse that we’ll, we’ll talk about in a little bit. Um, then, then basically I’m making that choice in advance that I’m not just going to.

Have a fuse blow out, you know, and, and say, well, my anger is justified. I can do whatever I want. Um, okay. Back to politics, dude, the riots burning cities down like breaking business windows, all of that.

Josh: Um, that’s not happening. You don’t watch the news. That’s not happening at all your piece only.

Andrew: It’s only in your imagination.

But like, what does that mean? How, how is that acceptable at all? That we’re just like, well, that’s the consequence. If something happened happening politically, you don’t like, or something happening with the police department, you don’t like or whatever. It’s like, that’s not an acceptable response to just say, well, I’m going to go burn something down.

We’re going to go hurt somebody. I’m going to go break something. It’s like that’s. Yeah. I don’t know. It’s it’s frustrating.

Josh: It’s been a moment where

Andrew: anchor’s cool. I guess.

Josh: No, it, it is, it is school, like, yeah. As long as it’s righteous anger, I have free reign to do whatever I want with it is essentially our culture today.

Yeah. Like as

Andrew: righteous.

Josh: Yeah. Deemed righteous. And we can argue their side of the political spectrum of whether it’s like righteous or not. Um, but like, If it’s righteous, anger deemed righteous, then I can do whatever I want. Like it gives me free reign and that’s the opposite of, of who Jesus called us to be 100% opposite of who Jesus called us to be like, you’re never going to see me post a political article, a political statement, anything that’s going to be divisive except for gospel.

Um, gospel can be divisive. You’re telling people that they’re sinners in need of a savior, like that’s divisive. Yeah. So. Other than that on, on any social media platform or for that matter, any platform that’s going to be public, not going to go down those roads. It’s not worth it. And I know a lot of people disagree and do the opposite of that.

There’s been plenty of times I’ve read a post. I’m like, Aw, hell no, I’m getting in on this one and have to stop myself.

Andrew: Dude. I’ve deleted comments where I’m just, I have that moment of, yeah, no, this is going to destroy a relationship and it’s not going to change their mind and I’m posting it. Cause I want them to feel bad.

It’s like

Josh: delete

Andrew: backspace, delete, delete, delete close.

Josh: I’m done.

Andrew: I’m not doing that. Yeah.

Josh: Yeah, shut it down. But no, like that’s, that’s normal emotion to want, essentially, to some extent, maybe you’re wanting revenge. Um, like that’s what you’re doing. You’re like, you’re saying this to your. Sphere of influence.

That’s not okay. I have to correct it. Um, and as long as I feel righteous about it, w we see this a variety of ways, remove the political spectrum. We see this in our own lives, that, um, if we feel righteous about it, then we get to do whatever we want in the midst of that. Um, and I think that’s the opposite of what Jesus is calling us to.

And, you know, you quoted the Jane or you, you mentioned the James verse. Let me read this, but this is James chapter one. And, um, towards the end of James chapter one, He gets some kind of this, this, um, conversation of kind of, how do we act? Like how do we, how do actually respond to each other? And he says, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the NIV, I think.

Yeah. Uh, dear brothers and sisters take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. So it’s, it’s. So here’s the, here’s what, here’s what God’s saying. Hey, Jesus did this, uh, in the temple, but Jesus being fully man fully, God had full ability to do this.

You, on the other hand, your anger is not going to read lead to any sort of form of righteousness that God desires. So, but he also recognizes anger is normal human condition. Yeah, it’s normal to get angry. Um, so he’s not saying all anger is sin. He’s not calling it sin. He’s telling you it’s not going to lead to anywhere.

Good. Um, but I get you’re a human it’s going to happen. So. Avoid it happening as long as you possibly can.

Andrew: Yeah.

Josh: And the

Andrew: question becomes, how do you, it says in the helpful thing is the, the answers kind of baked into the statement where it says everybody should become quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, and you only become slow to become angry if you’re quick to listen.

And you’re careful with your words, slow to speak. I had a, uh, my last boss. She, um, she was great. And she told me that when she was a little kid, her, um, her grandpa told her this, like would always say this to her and her siblings and all of that of like, when you’re about to say something and you’re mad.

You should imagine that you’re a giraffe so that you have a really long neck, because those words you’re going to go all the way up your neck before they come out of your mouth. So you have a minute to think about it before you say it. And I’ve just always liked image, you know, of like, I just need to take a moment and actually think about it.

And visually imagine that my words take a minute to come up my throat before coming out of my mouth. Um, because man, I don’t know about you Josh, but um, I’m not always the slowest to speak and I’m not always the slowest to become angry. And every time I find myself being way too quick to speak or too quick to become angry, I deeply regret it and it hurts relationships.

It hurts me. Um, from being honest, it’s, it’s normally, um, directed at my wife that I have to go back and really apologize and kind of a tone for, of using my words poorly. So this is like a life lesson in a single verse become slow to, or quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. And a dude.

That is easy to say and hard to do for me at

Josh: least. Well, I think it’s hard for, for a lot of us, a lot of us, and I, I think it’s even like, um, quick to listen. It’s difficult for me, slow to speak. I can do, um, but slow to show my emotions that I’m pissed. Very difficult for me to do. Yeah. So like, sure. I might not be verbally saying anything, but my emotions are saying F you it’s gone.

Right. So there’s, there’s that piece of it too, of like, can I, can I hold controlling, hold my emotions in, in the moment as much as I want to attack as much as I want to let the anger out as much as I want to. Correct. Um, however, however, it. Presents itself as much as I want to do those things. Um, can I hold that in?

Um, give it a little bit more time to process. So I don’t end up one destroying relationship. Like really that’s that’s that’s the issue at hand, right? Like, this is why Paul said like, love is not easily angered. Like you’ve got to show a high level of grace. You have to show a higher level of, of, uh, Um, compassion.

Um, if not empathy, to understand their position of kind of where they’re at. Um, because the other part is like, you may be righteous in it, in, in your position against whatever they’re doing, but can you have empathy to understand where they’re at and why they’re at that place? Right. Like, I think that’s where we’re love and in unity start to live.

Like, I may disagree with a lot of. Policies and stances and methodologies, going back to the political realm of, you know, a different party than the party I typically align with. Um, but can I see how they got there? And then if I can’t see how they got there, then I’m probably not in a position of love.

I’m probably not caring for them as an individual. Um, because I, I don’t want to take the time to even learn. Right. Hey, how did you get to this? So I think there’s that piece of it, of like, um, when I find myself in an argument about something, um, can there be a conversation instead of jumping to emotion as much as I want to just asking question, and there’s a way to ask questions, to understand a way to ask questions that are.

Fricking daggers, right? Like, I, I can ask you a leading question and I can ask you a question where I’m genuinely just trying to understand your position and even share, like say you and me are having an argument about something. Um, you know, and I’m getting pissed. Like it’s boiling up. I can feel it. Um, I don’t think we’ve ever had this conversation, but I’m feeling it I’m getting angry.

Um, and I can even tell you, Hey, like, I’m getting pretty frustrated by what you’re saying. Like, I can feel it inside of me. Um, but I care about you and I want to understand how you got here. Um, so can you just, can you lay it out for me again, maybe in a different way so I can at least. We may, we may not come to conclusion on agreeing.

That’s fine, but I just want to understand how you got here, um, and share that I’m pretty angry right now. Like, I can feel it inside of me, it’s boiling up, but I value you as a person. Like I’ve had, you know, you and I have have a, have a buddy, we traveled across the country with, um, I just say it that way, that, so you know who I’m talking about, but, um, And there’s been plenty of times that we’ve had conversations that were heated, um, because we don’t agree on some certain things.

Um, but can we have the conversation, even though it may be, uh, A little more lively than our normal conversations. Um, can we still have that conversation and try to understand each other than trying to convince each other of our position? Right? Like even if your ultimate goal, I want to convince you of my position.

Like that’s goal. Why can’t do that effectively. I want to understand your position. Cause I can’t get you from a to B. Right? Like, so even from an argument standpoint to win. It makes more sense to understand your opponent. You’re having conflict with just to win, let alone, to live in a godly, a human person, honoring what?

Andrew: Yeah. A hundred percent. So Josh, I’m going to, as you were saying that at the end of you saying that I was thinking like, how do I respond to that? Because that all. Makes sense. And in my mind, I, man, I’m all about how do we make things practical? So, um, I’m going to say my thoughts on, like, what does it mean to listen?

Cause it says we should be quick to listen, um, and slow to speak. Um, maybe, I don’t know, maybe this will add something or are you, I don’t know, whatever you think about it, fill it in, but like listening, um, there’s such a difference between. Just hearing things through your ears and, and reacting, um, and actually listening to people.

Um, and it’s a hard skill because like you were saying, you, you can ask questions that are just leading, um, so that when people say the wrong thing and you say, Oh, there’s my cue. Gotcha. Yeah. You know, um, or you can ask questions in genuinely be curious about the answer and listen, and I think one way.

That I catch myself or a one check for me is when I am listening to someone speak, I try really hard not to. Be thinking as they’re speaking about, what am I going to say next? What’s my next point. What’s how do I respond to that? What do I do? And not even, how do I respond? Just what’s my next point. How do I sound smart?

What am I going to say? Uh, are they done talking? It seems like they’ve been talking

Josh: for awhile. Like

Andrew: I, when I’m listening,

Josh: I really do. And thoughts you have on we’re on the podcast together. I just feel like you’re trying to bring something up and

Andrew: just to really just a really roundabout kind of way. So by that, I

Josh: mean, we should,

Andrew: I, you know, I want our podcast to be five minutes in length and you drag it out to an hour.

So I don’t know.

Josh: It was pretty good. We’re trying to keep Merck. We’ve been

Andrew: we’re, we’re pretty close. I’m proud of us. Um, but I don’t know, practically listening. I don’t know if you ever have those thoughts of like, am I actually listening or not? And for me, I’m thinking about that. I try to just be like, okay, quit thinking about what I’m going to say, and actually listen and respond to what they said, you know, ask a question about what they said or follow up or whatever.

Josh: See, most of the time, I don’t even hear what you’re saying in general. Like most of you are just

Andrew: like right now,

Josh: I’m arguing in my head with myself about the conversation and you’re not even a part of it just. Dude,

Andrew: you should be quick to listen. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Josh: No, no, I’m listening and just listening to myself.

Um, it’s, you know, like my, my problem is I’m an internal processor. Um, uh, some things I’m external on, but in general, I’m an internal processor. So I’m processing as someone else’s talking. Uh, where I stand on, whatever they’re talking about. So like, like you’re saying, like that’s a great practice to have, I don’t do it well in general.

Well, either that’s

Andrew: what I try to do.

Josh: That’s what I want to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even like processing, Oh, what’s my next question to ask, like, I’m thinking about all those things. I spend probably more time on ahead than I realized, um, even in conversations with people. Um, but also like try to anticipate.

And maybe this goes back to insecurity as a, my, my own of, I don’t think I’m smart enough is an insecurity that, that plays in my head or, or whatever. Um, and. Uh, so I think there’s a piece of that is one of the reasons I don’t listen well, uh, at times is because I don’t feel I’m trying to process as quick as I possibly can to come up with my own answers or have conversation or whatever the issue is.

So that’s why I’m not listening to you. Um, I’m not saying any of this is right. I’m just saying, Hey, there’s this is how some people function and think so. I get it. Um, listening. It can be difficult, but. Um, but I think taking that time to slow down and, and to at least just take in all the information of like, Hey, I just want to hear this person share whatever they think in this moment.

And I just want to understand it rather than I want it. And maybe that’s the posture for me that I’d have to take is like, I just want to understand your thinking. Um, hopefully it’s not kind of sending in the way that you say it. I don’t know, but, um, And if that’s the posture I’m taking, I’m not trying to convince you of my way though.

There’s most of the time, 98, 99% of the time. I want to convince you of my way it’s head nod. Just want to understand. So it’s telling yourself in your head of no, no, no, no. Understand, understand, understand. Um, yeah, I’m one of those guys that like, Um, like my dad, like I have a really long fuse. Um, I’ll take it.

I’ll take it, I’ll take it. Um, and then one day it just all comes out and it’s ugly and it’s not, it’s not a good day. Yeah. Anger is, is going to come at you. And now you’re going to feel my wrath, but I’ll take it for a while. Um, probably not good, probably a bad trade. I learned from my dad. You probably have talked about it.

Way before you let it out. I love my father, but, uh, I, I think that’s a piece of a, that’s just not helpful. Like I think when you’re wronged or you feel like you should share it, you know, as we said earlier, like, Hey, what you’re sharing is is, is really pissing me off. Um, I don’t want to be angry. I know that’s not helpful to our conversation.

I just want to understand where you’re coming from. So, can I ask you questions,

Andrew: even if that catches somebody by surprise, that’s so much better

Josh: than just

Andrew: blowing up on them, you know, uh, later is saving it up for six weeks. Like it’s so much better to say, Hey, you’re actually kind of pissed me off right

Josh: now.

Andrew: Here’s why. And can you unpack your thinking? Cause, cause I might be wrong, you know, but I just want you to know you’re kind of making me mad that’s way better than just flipping the table and whatever,

Josh: you know, and you’re not saying these are the pieces, like you’re not saying you’re making me mad as a, as a.

Tool to win the argument. No, right? Like I’m justified and I’m justified. No, it’s just, it’s just saying, Hey, this is how I’m feeling has really nothing to do with you or maybe it does, but it doesn’t at the same time. This is me. I just want you to know how I’m, how I’m taking this right now, because I need you to be, I need you to be aware of it so we can actually have a conversation or it might come out in unhealthy ways.

And I want to be slow to anger. Exactly.

Andrew: Exactly. It’s a. Yeah, man. It’s important to be

Josh: able to literally I think is probably attractive, right? Yeah. To some extent, like if someone said to me, you’re like, Oh, like it throw me off for a second and you’d be like, is this a tactic? You see trying to play me that when first thought, but after you realized, no, it’s genuine, like he’s just sharing or she’s just sharing how she feels.

Um, then that’s like, that’s fair. Like, I think there’s a part of that. Like, no, I have more respect for you now because. Because you shared that and you’re willing to share that in the midst of our argument, um, Great. Yeah, don’t use it as a tool to win or to make someone feel bad or that’s, that’s manipulation.

That’s a whole nother ball game. Don’t be manipulative. Don’t be a turd. Don’t be,

Andrew: as we said yes. As some have said, um, yeah man, but it’s, it’s not being easily anchored and I think it really does. Like you put the, the first James one 19, uh, first in there. And I do think that’s a great answer to not being easily.

Anchored is being quick to listen and slow to speak, because if you’re those two things, then you can be slow to become angry. But I really think you got to choose it in advance. You got to choose to practice it. And we’re not perfect. You’re not going to be like 100% all the time, but if you’re trying to be slow to slow to speak, and you’re trying to be quick to listen.

Um, and by quick to listen, that that maybe just sounds weird, but you want to listen to what other people have to say. And you’re willing

Josh: to say like, you know, quick to listen, essentially just means let listening be your first pump. Yeah, yeah. Be humble. That comes before I see some

Andrew: people in conversation.


Josh: Yeah. Yep. And I don’t think that’s the concept. Yeah. I don’t think that’s a concept we’ve talked before about, on the podcast. Maybe we have, I don’t, I don’t remember. I don’t know, but so much of our behavior. Is reactionary in the moment. And we’re not even talking about just anger, we’re just talking about everything in general.

It’s so reactionary in the moment because we haven’t taken the time to decide or figure out how we’re going to react when the situation shows up. So like here’s anger. Well, anger is a reactionary emotion. Like. Yeah, of course, people don’t like build it up and plan to be anchoring. So it’s just not how, like, it just comes out of us.

It’s like, it’s hello, I’m here. Um, like it’s, it’s that piece of it. So like, What decisions did you make before you get there? So it’s like, well, I don’t want anger to be my first emotion. Um, so if I find myself in that situation, I’m going to do one, two and three. I’m going to make sure I’m slowing down enough to listen.

Um, I’m making sure that listening is my first posture. Um, if I’m getting really angry with somebody, um, I’m going to tell them I’m getting angry with them, not for the sake of control or manipulation or to win, but. To just help them understand, Hey, this is where I’m at, but I really want to understand you and where you’re at.

Um, but I need, I just need you to know, like, I’m fighting, like I’m fighting an internal battle right now and I, and I don’t want to be, but I am. Um, and then third is, I’m going to take my time to actually. Share my thoughts on the situation. Um, you should share them. I think it’s important to share them. I think that’s how conversation relationship, all that listings happen.

They have to be shared. Um, but you have to take your time to get to those things. Kind of like Andrew said of like, um, you know, your, the giraffe, uh, how long does it take some time to get it from, from, yeah. Um, but I’m pretty sure in a draft, their voice boxes right. At their mouth and not down their throat, but that’s fine.

We won’t dissect or take apart, you know, take apart his, his illustration. Um, uh, but there’s so many of those things in our life in general, like we could go through all of these things. Love is love is patient love is kind well. I’m going to choose to be kind. And when I don’t want to be kind, what’s, what’s, what’s kind of the things that come out of me.

What are the thoughts that I’m thinking? What are the feelings I’m thinking? What is my behavior? Um, and then how do I. Counterbalance that, um, so many of these things are coming back to that? No, no. When I interact with people, I’m going to look for an opportunity to love them. Well, Yeah. Um, everybody I interact, whether it’s the person I’m picking up my groceries from a King Soopers, my neighbor, you know, my, my spouse, my, my coworker, whoever happens to be when I enter, enter into conversation, relationship with that individual, I’m going to choose to love them.

Well, that’s my posture because Jesus told me I should love them. Well, um, Jesus said. Um, you know, love your neighbor as yourself. I don’t know about you, but I love myself a lot. Um, so loving them a lot is, is kind of the standard. Um, and so much of our behavior would change. If we made the decisions ahead of time, this is how I’m going to react to these types of situations, right?

Like, so I’ll give you an example. Um, and this may not come and surprise as you listen to our podcasts and we are called this juice light podcast. And I would think Jesus is in our side of this. Um, but abortion is a trigger for me. And especially in election season when it comes up, Oh my gosh, does it pull so much out of me?

Um, that I’m just like, I’m ready to fight. I’m ready to tell you how much this is wrong. I don’t understand how you got to your position. Cause it’s stupid. Like that. That’s the emotion that comes out of me. If you’ve had an abortion, I’m not condemning you. I, I. I can understand how you got there and made those decisions.

I’ve taken the time to get to that place. I’m not please hear me on that.

Andrew: Just an issue where you’re quick to anger is maybe what you’re trying to say.

Josh: Yup. So I’ve made the decision when that conversation comes up, I’m going to shut up. Hmm. That’s my posture. Like you can say whatever you want, you can think, I agree with you or disagree with you.

I’m not going to enter into the conversation. Yeah. Because it’s just. Because I can’t enter the conversation in a logical helpful fashion. It’s going to be destructive and it’s going to be very, um, aggressive. Uh, so I just I’ve chosen. I’m not gonna say anything, whether that’s face-to-face, whether that’s now, if you come to me in your, uh, you’re like Josh, I’m just really struggling with this.

I’m pregnant. And I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do with this baby. I’m going to share my speaking in that moment. Yeah. And you got for a hundred percent. Yeah. But if it’s a conversation about the topic on whether it’s okay or not, like it’s just a general comment and someone’s not trying to make a decision, it’s a general conversation.

I’m out. I’m not entering into it. That’s a decision I’ve made ahead of time before I go into it. There’s plenty of times to see it on Facebook. And I’m like, Oh hell yeah, here we go. There’s plenty of times, even in conversation, I want to jump into it. But yeah. I’ve decided the best posture for me to take, because I don’t, I know I’m only going to cause harm, um, is to shut up.

Andrew: Yeah. And what you were saying earlier, where you were talking about how we will react so much in our life, like. I think maybe that’s the normal one. Beautiful thing about the Bible is if you spend time reading it and thinking about it and questioning it and memorizing it, all of that, um, it gives us a roadmap of how to not just be reactive, but to, to make these decisions in advance, you know, led by the Holy spirit.

I’m sure you were in that choice of, I’m just not going to engage in this conversation in the moment I’m going to listen. And, and then I, I can speak if it makes sense to speak, but I’m not going to come in guns blazing with facts and whatnot because yeah, I think so much of that. Like abortion is a, is a thing that breaks my heart.

If I’m being honest and makes me, um, fills me with emotion, you know, sometimes anger. Sometimes I’m just feel sad, sometimes helpless. All of it. There’s a lot of different stuff in there, but there’s a lot of statistics about abortion. There’s a lot of statistics about all the things that are the political hot button issues.

Um, yeah. But the reality is when you’re having that conversation with the person or a couple people you’re not having that conversation with statistics and you throwing out the, the standard or the, you know, numbers of abortions in 2018, among 300 million people in the U S yeah. That’s not helpful to the person you’re talking to, you know, and it’s like, you, you make that decision of advance in advance of, I’m just gonna.

Either be quick to listen, slow to speak, or I’m going to be quick to listen, to not speak. Um, and I’m not going to be because I know I’m going to become angry. You know, that’s, that’s a wise choice, whatever, whatever you’re doing, but the Bible gives us a roadmap to make these decisions before you’re in the moment where you have to make a decision, you know, like it’s, that’s a beautiful thing about it.

Josh: Yeah. And we’ll say it this way. Yeah. Um, like.

I’m always, this is just maybe a pet peeve of mine in this, and I’m not trying to correct you, Andrew. I’m just sharing my posture. Correct. This is what God has said. And those like that, like it’s not the Bible that has the authority. It’s the author that they created the authority. So we’re just applying it to her was I think we get in scary grounds when we give the Bible the authority and we ended up feeling justified in our actions and our reality Jesus called us God called us to love first.

So in all these conversations, Of all these different topics of love, like the reality is, is, um, as you dig into your relationship with Jesus, um, as you dig into that relationship through reading God’s word through prayer, through practicing Jesus habits, um, Like, you’re going to be molded and shaped into who God’s called you to be.

So what that is going to mean is you’re going to be a more loving person today, as you journey with Jesus than you were a year ago. If you’ve been journeying with Jesus, you’re going to be a more aware person about who you are and how you react to things. And you’re going to be a more intentional person.

Yeah. And because Jesus is going to bring things up of like, Hey, when you go into this situation, um, this is what typically happens. So let’s talk about that situation, right? Like it’s this level of intentionality starts to go higher and higher. And this is probably true of anyone just coming to realization of how their behavior interacts with other people.

But this is how this is inside of what Jesus is doing. Is this he’s sanctifying you and shaping you and who God’s called you to be. Um, and, and. Molding your heart to a place of great love for him and great love for those around us. Yeah. There’s that piece of it. There’s an intentionality that starts to form.

I think if you’re highly re re re actional a person, um, like emotion wins nine times out of 10, um, Like I would, I would say you got to spend more time with Jesus. That’s the only thing that’s going to help that, um, you gotta let him start to shape you. And you’re spending time with Jesus in a posture of humans.

Hey Jesus, this is where I’m at. And this is how I react and how I’m thinking, how do you want me to react and thinking, thankfully, his words have been recorded and we have it in the Bible. Like, this is exactly what he said, and this is exactly who he’s called you to be. Um, so there’s no question. It’s not this, this, you know, how does Jesus feel today?

In terms of how he’s going to answer this question. Oh, it’s recorded. This is how he feels. This is how he always feels he’s not changing. Um, so there’s that piece of it too, of the longer you spend walk with Jesus, they’re more intentional. You’re going to become, because you’re going to realize things about yourself that Jesus reveals Jesus corrects.

Jesus encourages, you know, it could be revealed good things and bad things about your personality and who you are or your past, and what. That brings to your personality, um, and kind of digging in into those things. Like that’s going to be, be huge as well. Yeah. I mean, we’ve been going through this, like, go ahead.

Andrew: I was just going to say, to be clear, I agree with what you’re saying, man. Um, I think. When we spend time reading the Bible, the Holy spirit guides us to things that, that we need to understand better. Um, things that stick out to you in that moment, in that day, in that season to help you make the decisions in advance, to look more like Jesus a year from then, or two years from the things that you’ve already made, the choice you’ve already thought through it.

Because the Holy spirit guided you there, you know, through the living, breathing word of God, which is the Bible, not the perfect version of the Bible or the perfect copy of the Bible. No, like the, the word of God that he’s given us to get to know him is the Bible. But, um, yeah, I’m not trying to place too much authority on, on the physical book.

Um, but the author, so,

Josh: yep. I didn’t totally where I just a pet peeve of mine. Fair enough.

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: What we’d like to do with it, but, um, no, I think that’s, I think that’s good. I, I think, I, I think the big question that you should constantly be asking is, is my actions harming relationship or helping relationship?

Like if relationships, the key when Jesus made it pretty clear. Yeah. Love your neighbor as yourself. Like that’s, that’s the second, um, in greatest commandment, um, it’s like the first, um, so equal, equal grounds. Um, That if I’m harming relationship and is, am I doing it right? Yeah. If, if, um, um, you know, if I have a, a certain friend group in my behavior, my actions, my whatever is harming that community, um, then I’m probably not in the right.

I probably have some issues going on, um, because you can, you can disagree with the community and not harm it. Yeah. Like the community can say, this is true. And you could say, no, I think this is true. And you can have conflict and disagreement and not harm it. But the second I let an emotion, specially like anger into the picture.

I’m like, it’s going to cause destruction. That’s just what it does. Like James was clear about it. Like. Yeah. You know, he, he specifically said like, because human anger does not produce the righteousness. It’s the God desires, right? Like, sure. Getting angry is not simple. Well, I don’t think it’s sinful and it can lead to sin though.

Um, and Jesus saying, James is saying right here, like, be very careful because it’s not going to lead to what you want. Yeah. So if you find yourself constantly getting angry, like dig into that with Jesus. Like if that’s, if that’s your posture, like figure out why like dig into what that issue is and, and, and, and let Jesus speak into that and then let him shape you around that.

Um, cause I would assume you don’t want to be angry. I would assume that I’m like no one wants to be in that posture where you’re just angry at everybody all the time. Like you’re going to segregate yourself from most of society, if that’s your posture, um, like they’re not gonna want to be around you.

Yeah. Um, and maybe that’s how you want it, or you’ve convinced yourself. That’s how you want it, but you really don’t. We need community. That’s how we were designed. Humanity needs people around us. Um, so like, let Jesus speak into that and started to dig into and find what the root causes. Cause I don’t think the root causes you’re an angry person.

Yeah, I think there’s a different root cause at play there. Something’s going on? You got to dig into that something. Um, so, so God can, can speak into it and shape and mold you. And here’s the beautiful thing. Like we talk about correction. We talk about discipline from, from Jesus. Um, and. Oftentimes, we get it from the human perspective of this is what it’s like.

Um, but disciplining correction from Jesus is extremely loving, extremely caring. And it’s not like, Hey Andrew, you suck as a human being like shape up. It’s like, no, Andrew, this is causing destruction in your life. And the lives around you. Let me help you. Yes. Like that’s jesus’ posture. Um, and like it’s a beautiful picture and it’s a beautiful thing to sit inside of.

It’s not a, Hey, you’re a screw up. Yeah, just fix it. It’s a, Hey, let me sit in this with you because remember Jesus took your sin on himself. Um, so he’s sitting in it with you, let him help you deal with it. Uh, those things that are causing destruction.

Andrew: Yeah, man, you just, you hit on it and this. It’s just a great point that I want to underscore, like when Jesus, when Jesus speaks to us, um, when he speaks to me, when he speaks to you, when he speaks to whoever’s listening, um, he doesn’t do it with just shame.

He doesn’t just say, well, you suck. End of story.

Josh: No shame at all.

Andrew: No, it’s never shame. It’s never used suck.

Josh: It’s feels like shame your

Andrew: ex it’s probably coming from you. If it feels like shame or, you know, or the enemy. Um, but it’s, it’s not coming from Jesus. Um, so when he speaks to us, he says, Hey, I love you.

I want to help you with this. Um, and I want to show you the truth of this. Like maybe it is hurting your life and causing destruction there and on other people’s lives, but it’s always wrapped with the next step out of that. The step out of that, you know, it’s, I love you so much. I’m going to be honest with you about how this is hurting you or others, and here’s the way out because I love you that much too, you know?

So it’s just a, if you’re listening to this and you’re struggling with anger, There’s always a next step. There’s always a way to get out of that. Um, if you’re struggling with something else, like we all are, um, whatever it is, um, there’s always a way out of that. And I, I just encourage you to take a minute when you shut off this podcast or stop it right now and just pray and say, Jesus, would you help me through this?

Cause I don’t know my next step, but I know that I’m in the wrong here. You know, go spend some time with him. Um, and, and there’s always a way out of, of sin. There’s always a way back to Jesus, whether it’s anger or something else you’re struggling with. Thanks for listening to our show. It really means a lot to us.

And we hope that it helps bring you closer your relationship with Jesus and with other people.

Josh: And also helps us out if you rate our podcast or leave us a review on whatever platform you’re listening on and also follow us on Instagram and the Facebook. Now sharing this with your friends. Isn’t just to get the word out of the podcast.

We believe that we have the message of hope that’s found in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you sharing. This has the ability to transform the lives of the people around you.

Andrew: We want to hear from you. You can email You can message us on Facebook and Instagram, or you can just visit

But seriously, thanks for this. .

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