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Relationship Uncensored
Episode No. 59

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (NIV. Luke 10:41-42). Being with Jesus and doing things for Jesus can be a difficult balance for many, but often we make it a lot more difficult than it should be. Out of our relationship with Jesus, everything else must flow.

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Verses – Luke 10.
Verses – Matthew 7:21-23.
Verses – Ephesians 2:8-9.
Book – The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
Book – The Hope Study.


Josh: Hello. Hello. Hello. We are just two normal dudes trying to live this Jesus My name’s Josh, 

Andrew: Josh. I’m Andrew. And we are this Jesus life podcast and people, if you’re listening and you listen to our episodes often, you know that I messed up. The normal intro. And you also know that we record these every week and, uh, and we do that because it’s a lot more fun rather than just starting the conversation.

So you’re welcome, uh, for that. 

Josh: And Josh, how you doing my friend? I’m doing well, I’ll be honest. It threw me off. I was like, ah, what do we do? He broke. He screwed it up. Is this right? Do we just go in? I did it on purpose. Yeah. 

Andrew: We’re rolling with it, man. We’re doing this thing, 

Josh: dude. Yeah, dude. How are you 

Andrew: doing?

I’m good. I’m good. I. I’m a little bit tired and we’re doing this on a Monday, which is different for us. Um, but this weekend was, was good, but like real full, you know, um, and my pool pump, uh, the motor that goes on my pool pump on Friday. Yeah.

Josh: That wasn’t going to be my question is, did you get it fixed? And two, how was the burden. 

Andrew: Amazon did not deliver it yesterday. I will be complaining to their customer service cause I bought it just because of that. I’m like, you guys you’re killing me. Okay. It should come 

Josh: in the service. There’s not even a phone number for him.

Andrew: That’s crazy. Well, um, I’m going to try, uh, at least I’ll live, chat them and be like what’s going on, but it it’s supposed to be delivered in about an hour. So. Uh, but yeah, we had a good old fashion, like church barbecue yesterday at the park and it was actually super fun, man. Um, it was a really good time.

Like there are so many kids in our church, like young, like parents and families with young kids that we went to this park that had like just a killer playground, one that’s like, I dunno, four miles from our house and we didn’t know existed. Um, But it had like all these pirate ships that were also like slides and all this stuff.

It was really cool. So, um, that was fun. And it was also just cool. Like you don’t realize like I, well, maybe I didn’t realize how often I just rubbed shoulders with pretty much the same people every week at church. Um, so to like go to hang out at a barbecue like that and cheer food. You know, nobody, there’s no seating arrangement, right?

Like nobody’s used to being at the park as a, as a church. So I don’t know. I just, I got to know people that I normally don’t hang out with when we’re there on Sundays. So it was pretty cool, man. Yeah, it was good. How was, uh, how was your Sunday and weekend 

Josh: to make new friends? Yeah, try and try. Uh, it was good.

Uh, I had to work a little bit on Sunday, um, to get ready for the week. Um, I own a design business and I have a pro at a project starting today. So I guess it was emails out. But other than that, um, yeah, pretty uneventful. The weather was beautiful though. Like, uh, it wasn’t raining, but it wanted to rain last.

I don’t know if it ever actually did. Right. I didn’t check, but so it was like little bit humid in the air, starting to get a little chilly, great time to sit out on the patio. Totally. Which I did with my dog until my dog pissed me off. Cause he just doesn’t listen. Um, so he didn’t get back inside, but for a little bit, he got to enjoy it with me.

And then he was like, dude, 

Andrew: one of the things I loved and. Uh, one of the things that I loved and hated about Colorado was there’d be times like that. And then you’d see a storm happening, but it’d be happening really high in the atmosphere and you’d see rain falling, but it would evaporate before it ever touched the ground.

And it’d be like, oh, just come down here. You’ve never noticed that before. Dude that happens in Colorado all the time, man. Like I swear to you, you’ll see, you’ll see holes like this, like showers happening, where the rain is falling and it just evaporates before it even gets to the ground. It’s the it’s crazy.

Yeah. Next time. Next time you feel weather like that. Go out. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a thing. I’m not making it up. It’s totally a thing. I don’t even know what to call it, but like rain that doesn’t touch the ground, I guess. But yeah. I remember seeing that a lot of times when we lived there and being like, come on, you’re killing me.

Like, we just want rain. So try, but yeah, man, uh, speaking of storms, 

Josh: 50% believing you’re right. Until I see it. I could 

Andrew: tell, I could tell, but I’m not making it up. Dude. Speaking of storms, you and I have like been podcasting once or twice now when a storm has literally knocked out my power, which is kind of crazy.

Um, but my, my almost three-year-old daughter just at lunchtime a little bit ago, like, and over the last few days she’s been like, there’s gonna be a major bad storm. Major bad rains, 50 feet tall range. She’s like, like a Dyer, a weather forecaster, and it like, you’ll walk outside and it’ll be nice weather.

And she’s like, it’s going to be a major, bad storm. It’s pretty fun, man. 

Josh: Yeah. Like, it’s going to be sunny, always, even if it’s rich insight. 

Andrew: Yeah, totally. Well, dude, um, We’re in the hope series. We’re still in the hope series and, uh, I don’t know, pulse check. How do you think it’s going? Are you feeling, are you feeling less hopeful since the last three weeks that we started the series?

Or are you feeling a little, maybe a tad more hopeful? 

Josh: How are you doing now for that? The question, um, I’m feeling the stress of it all. Um, because this is week we’re talking week four right now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um, so the hope study is an eight week study to be done in community with other believers. As you seek Jesus, learn how to foster relationship with Jesus deal with some junk of your life.

So you keep hope regardless of the circumstances of life and whatever life may throw at you. I’m feeling the stress because this is week four and week four. Isn’t actually written yet. Um, neither is 5, 6, 7 or eight. Um, so I’m feeling the stress of like, holy crap, because you know, I’m leading it. We have a community group of church, um, that we’re, we’re taking this, this group, the group through, and they’re starting with the content this week.

They’re going, going through all the homework days and then getting to the conversation. Yeah. But that’s one. And then I got one more week and then they’re going to expect content from me, not this Wednesday next Wednesday. No. Yeah. Have that works out. They’re going to want more content from me. Um, so yeah, so I’m feeling the stress of like, oh wow.

I have a lot, I, a lot of writing to do, and I keep telling myself, I have tons of notes. Like I know one, writer’s got sit down. But then I did that and it wasn’t good. Right? So you’re like, damn, my whole technique, you know, all through college and school was wait till the last minute and then do the work, which has gotten me through with good BS.

But what I want this to be better, right. Right. And Hey, blessings to me that I know what good writing is and bad writing is, so I know better I’m sure. But at the same time, yeah. That’s a little of a pain where you’re like, dammit, I’m gonna, yeah. I’m going to screw all this up. Yeah. And I think the message in board.

So I think the messenger report enough to do time. So I was thinking like, what if I took two days off of work this week and I just focus on these things. And then I was like, damn, that’s not gonna work. Projects actually started this week, so I have to be available. Um, so even taking the time off, like my real job, I saw this other job that that’s gonna demand my time.

So it might just be really early morning writing over the next week. I’m just going to get up and honestly, 4:00 AM wake up calls. I think you can do it. I think you can do it. 

Andrew: And you know, the last two podcasts we had were actually on unwritten hope study content. So maybe there’s some cool ideas in there that you can pull out and put in, you know?

Um, hopefully so people, if you’re listening, you might be getting. The earliest possible version of some of these concepts that, uh, that might make the final or may not. You’ll see. You’ll have to 

Josh: find out. Yeah. Um, so the hope steady on this is week four of that study. Um, we’re talking about relationship on censored, but kind of give you some background of where we’ve been, um, to catch you up.

If you haven’t been following along, if you haven’t been following along, go back to our last four episodes. Um, we’ll get you caught up, but we started with the premiums. Or preamble as it’s properly said, um, which is just a good overview of the hope study in general. So like here’s the foundation, the content, I shouldn’t say foundation, here’s the content and where we’re headed.

Um, just to get, you know, to, to wet the whistle for lack of a better. I’ve never used that term before, so I’ll probably use it. Right. I was in another meeting. It was another meeting where I, I merged two sayings together and do the same thing. I don’t know sometime last week maybe. Uh, and nobody else said anything, but one person that I call was like, oh, what did you just say?

You’re like, I think I just put two. Folky terms together that don’t actually match.

So week two was race changes, everything. We talked through the gospel and it’s all built on the gospel truth and what the gospel does in our life, what Jesus did and what we call the gospel. Um, and then we went into some faulty attributes, things that we apply to God’s character, that aren’t true of God’s character.

Um, and now this week we’re talking about relationship. Censored. And I think the whole foundation of, of this idea, and this is something you hear us talk about on the podcast, almost every podcast. So it shouldn’t be brand new to you, but, um, that Jesus was 100% about relationship. When he was asked, what are the greatest, what is the greatest commandment?

He respond with two, you said, love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus was about relationship. Not only did he say those two demands, but he continued. And he said all the law. Excuse me, everything that’s been recorded up to this point, excuse me again, um, hanging on these two commands.

So I would argue all of God’s commands hanging on relationship, really that relationship with God or relationship with others. And we talk about relationship on censored. We’re talking about specifically our relationship with God and our job in that relationship really comes down to how we foster relationship with Jesus.

Right? And then practically, how do we live? But that’s kind of the overview. Andrew, you look so much nicer, um, for those that are, are just listening and not watching because we don’t have a video podcast right now. Uh, Andrew is so much clearer than he used to be. Uh, we were trying some things out and doing videos and he was really blurry and there was a nice long, 10 seconds to light, which was awkward and weird for our conversation.

Uh, but now he’s all nice and clear. Yeah, 

Andrew: look at that. And Bronx, man. Thank you. I’m glad to be clear, you know, um, that’s funny, man, as you were. 

Josh: Yeah, I’m going to and then you’re saying like, man, dude, it’s just good to see the color of your eyes. I think it’s like awkward enough.

You want to see 

Andrew: the pigment in 

Josh: your eyes? I don’t think you’d say that to a woman and then get creeped out. No, I feel like the weird vibe would go, the weird guy would still be there with your buddies, but like, you’re kind of going for the weird vibe, so you’re going to embrace it. But I think that’s my new thing.

That’s funny question, man. It’s good to see the color of your eyes. 

Andrew: It’s really good for my eye color to be seen by a friend, 

Josh: which it is the proper response to that, through that statement. That is the proper, yeah. That’s how, you know. Yeah, it’s 

Andrew: great to see my eye color. Um, dude, as you were talking, um, I thought of, uh, Ephesians two eight because it, let me back up.

Uh, a couple of the days in this week of the hope study are labeled kind of Gar God’s large part and our small part. That’s two of the days of study and. Ephesians two eight is, is great because it’s kind of a gut check of, of the, your part, I guess. So, anyway, uh, it says this, it says for it is by the grace of God that you’ve been saved through faith, not by works is the gift of God so that no one can boast.

Um, but it’s the. It’s the recognition that, that our faith, um, is really the piece that we do. Um, our, our faith to believe. Yes, Jesus. You were who you said you were. Yes. Your sacrifice was for me so that we could, I could have real relationship with God. It was to take the burden of my sin. Um, you did that work.

The only work that you and I have to do in that is really accepted then believe. Uh, and, and just go from there. So interrupt your Josh. You saw something very exciting about her. 


Josh: Walked in front of my house. No, your way, but you should go take the video because the size of a bear. I know it’s not a real bear.

Well, I don’t know that it’s on a leash, so I would assume that it’s not a real bear. 

Andrew: Probably not a big 

Josh: dog.

Like there’s a biggest dog I’ve ever seen. Dang. 

Andrew: That is intense. You’ll become free. I don’t know how to bring that back to grace. 

Josh: I’m going to be this guy. Cause I wanted me to stop. 

Andrew: Yeah. And you should take Jack and see what happens, 

Josh: dude. I won’t go well. Yeah, he’ll try. 

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair. That’s fair.

Yeah. And maybe we try to, maybe we try to pick a fight with, uh, with God when we think that, um, our part is bigger than it is. Um, how about that? 

Josh: Um, no, but 

Andrew: seriously, man, like, but our part in, in this relationship with God is, um, fairly small, you know, like Jesus did the work on the cross. And so it’s really a.

Beginning and actually accepting the grace. And that brings the level of humility. I think, in, in living out this Jesus life of saying like, yeah, I just accepted the gift that was already freely given, um, and have the faith. And the honesty to just say, like, I can’t do this on my own. I need a savior and Jesus, you are that savior, you know?

Um, yeah. So I don’t know, Ephesians two eight came to mind of those as like the underpinning of those first couple of days, maybe, um, or one of them. So what does that spark in you other than a big dog slash bear 

Josh: walking bass fair dog owner. No. That’s great. I think too, like, and we’ve talked about this before, so we won’t spend too much time talking about the idea, but yeah.

Um, like, yes, 100%. God did all the heavy lifting Siri. I didn’t ask you a question. Shut up. I’m sorry. Siri, Alexa button into my conversations constantly. She’s always like, I don’t understand you. What’d you say, ask it again. You’re like stop. I don’t. And she’s in a British accent class because. Siri should be in a British accent.

Um, sounds more pompous that way. And I feel like serious personality is very pompous. Um, sorry, I’m really distracted, but there’s this whole idea that, and we’ve talked about this before, but there’s this whole idea that we. We’re good with Jesus taking on the big part for our salvation, but the process of shaping and molding us.

We like to take it right back and we say, it’s up to me to do all these things. And then we get beat up and wonder why these sins, um, continue to ravage us. We wonder why we keep hurting relationship. We wonder why we’re not seeing growth in ourself. Um, because we, somewhere along the way said, God, wasn’t enough.

And I need to do all this. Sure for godly things. I’m trying to look more like Jesus, I’m trying to be more patient, have more peace, have more kindness, have more love towards, towards my neighbor, but I remove Jesus from the equation. Just try to do it on my own. Um, and then we get in these weird places.

Then we get angry at God. You’re like, whoa, what what’s going on here? Right? Like that whole rigamarole thing. Um, I think for me all conversation, um, lives around Luke 10, um, which is Lieutenant is, is, uh, a couple of different things. I think he sends out the disciples early in the day. Uh, sorry, I’m scrolling back up to the top.

He does, um, tell us the parable, the good Samaritan, and then they end up at the home of Mary and Martha. Um, and, uh, there’s a great contrast in how Mary and Martha relate to Jesus in this story that I think is really good, um, to portray this whole conversation really well. And then. Towards the end of the podcast, we’ll get into the practical w w well, what’s our, you know, our small part is we foster a relationship with Jesus.

We’ll get practical and talk about how we foster relationship with Jesus. Um, but, um, let me read these verses of in Mary Martha’s home with Jesus. Um, cause. It man, the contrast here is just beautiful. Um, so as I read these in your own head kind of picture in my Marriott, Martha nine times out of 10 when I interact with Jesus himself.

But, uh, this is Luke chapter 10, starting with verse 38. And I’m reading from the. As Jesus’ disciples were on their way. He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. Um, she, he had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he said. So pictures for a second.

Here’s here’s all the disciples. Um, I would assume all 10 of them, maybe there’s a couple other stragglers around, um, coming to Martha’s home. Um, they’re all probably like sitting in the living room. There’s probably like a fire, you know, over in the corner going off and Jesus’s, you know, holding it. Um, you know, telling stories this and that, um, the disciples are all, you know, nudging each other, like, oh, I like this story.

Um, and you know, you know, egging each other on and here’s Mary, um, who maybe the first time meeting Jesus. I don’t remember exactly. I don’t think it is actually, uh, But here’s Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, just listening to him, talk and share, share his stories, his lessons, whatever, you know, he’s sharing in that moment.

And then here comes Martha verse 40, but Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. There’s 13 people that just showed up in her house. Like she’s got to take care of these 13 people. Um, and she came to him and she asks, Lord, don’t you even care that my sister has left me to do all this work by myself, tell her to come help me.

Um, so they got to know each other pretty well. Her to try to call Jesus out on the rug. Um, also through her sister under the, because Randy, we love doing that. Like he’s a serious, this is not okay. Mary’s being uttered a stupid turd face and she’s not helping me and look at all these stuff that I have to do.

And I’m stressed out. This is ridiculous. You better tell her right now to get her butt cheeks in the, in the kitchen. Almost said bathroom. And I was like, what are you doing in the bathroom? That’d be right. But I was like butt cheeks, bathroom. Uh, and then here comes, Jesus responds in all the love and care that Jesus can have verse 41.

He says Martha, but he doesn’t say Martha wants. He says, Martha, Martha, the Lord answered you are worried and upset about so many things, but few things are new. Mm, or indeed only one Mary has chosen what is better and will not be in that will not be taken away from her. Uh, how often are we just like Martha in this story or we’re doing all the good Christian things.

We’re doing all the good church things. Uh, we’re running from, from here to there and trying to get all the plates spinning at the same time. Uh, and we end up. Uh, all stressed out, just like Martha was all worried and upset that not everyone’s doing their work. Um, not everyone’s participating, not everyone is volunteering, not everyone’s giving.

Um, and all these things that we’ve determined are good Christian things. And oftentimes Jesus just wants us to be. Just sit at my feet and listen, just be in relationship with me. Yeah. Um, Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her. Um, and I think that’s the compare and contrast.

We’re doing so much for God, rather than just trying to foster a relationship with God, um, and, and letting us, and letting Jesus and letting that be the source of, of where we flooded, because there’s plenty of other stories as we move forward. Um, in the story that Mary does work. You know, for Jesus, not work for Jesus, like he’s going to give her a paycheck, but like, does things for the kingdom, like investor skills for gifts or talents for the kingdom.

Right. Um, she was on her way, um, with Martha to the tomb, to redress the body, to get it ready for final burial. Um, right. And that’s when they, you know, Jesus appeared back. Yeah. Um, so there’s plenty of moments where GE or mark or Mary was actually doing the work, but there’s also moments that if Jesus isn’t leading the conversation, as in Jesus, Jesus, isn’t leading your life.

Um, then yeah, you end up doing all this extra work for no reason and being upset and worried about things that he never asked you to be upset or worried about. Um, he just wants us to focus on our relationship, Jesus and let out of that relationship flow everything else. And I think oftentimes we think we have to do everything else for there to be really.

Andrew: Yeah. Agreed. And, and just to plus that a little bit, or to make a point on that, like the it’s a, it’s a line to walk because you can listen to the, what we’ve just said and think like my entire job as a follower of Christ is to. Except the, the grace of God once. And I’m good, you know, like I, I accepted it.

I pray every now and again, do a few of these things. Maybe I tied to the church and whatever else, you know, like you, whatever that checklist is, you do that short list and you’re like, I’m good. My ticket is punched. I have booked my trip to heaven and that’s it, you know? But I think that it’s a balance because it is about cultivating real relationship with the Lord.

It’s, it’s not about, uh, just praying one time saying Jesus you’re, you’re my savior. Um, and, and then never doing anything to actually live out that real Jesus life. Like it’s about going deep and relationship with the Lord. And through that, The works naturally come, you know, you start to look around at how your neighbor differently.

You start to think about people differently, prioritize, spending differently, you all kinds of things, you know, but, but it’s from that, that, uh, that place of like accepting first, the sacrifice that that Christ made for us. Um, and beginning your relationship with the Lord, you made a great point. Last podcast that I think I clipped the audio and put it out on our Instagram, uh, which we are terrible at updating, sorry, people, uh, put it, put it out there that you’re like, you know, maybe this episode it was right at the end.

You’re like maybe this episode, maybe you’re listening to it. And you’re like, you know, this isn’t so much for me. And that could be because you haven’t. First accepted the sacrifice Christ Christ made and really started your relationship with him there, there, because that’s the start that’s the foundation is the acceptance of, of what Christ did.

That’s how you start this. Jesus. And from there you move into deeper relationship. You, you move into a change of who you were to who you’ll be, you know, um, you, you live in the, kind of the kingdom reality that the kingdom is here now, even though we’re in this world, that doesn’t feel like it’s here, you see it, you sense it sometimes where you don’t expect and you live into it.

Um, Mary and Martha, it gives you an awareness to read this the room, you know, and say like, what kind of moment is this? Do I need to be making like a eight course meal and worrying about sweeping the room in the back and doing all these things, you know, like, Was, and like we probably do pretty often. Um, or do I need to just be present with Jesus?

Cause that’s, that’s actually the intent of this moment. Like Mary picked up on, um, you know, do I need to drop my checklist and actually just spend time with him, um, in time focused on whatever he wants to teach me and the rest of the piece. In this room or in this place or in the season, you know? Um, I think I’m too often the Martha, because man.

I you, you know, you do, you do a lot, man, and you have a full-time job. You’re planting a church. You help people out as much as you can. You know, you dropped a lot of things and helped buddy change brakes on the truck until late in the night, you know, a couple of weeks ago. And that wasn’t something necessarily planned, but that’s like who you are, you see?

You Josh see a need and you’re like, can I help? And if I can, let’s do it, you know, but, but with that kind of openness comes a lot of responsibility. Um, and I’m, I’m the same way in a lot of ways. We always have full plates and it’s probably way too easy for you and I, to be way more in task mode than in relationship mode, you know, it’s a lot easier to spend our time saying like, well, I need to, I need to clean that room or I need to cook that dinner.

I need to do this or that or that. And, uh, I know we’ve referenced this book a lot of times, not the Bible, but the, um, the relentless illumine Irv ruthless elimination of hurry by John mark. And one line in there is like, if the devil can’t make you sad and he’ll make you busy or he’ll do what he can to make you busy, you know, because a hurried person is usually not a loving person.

Um, cause you’re focused on the task and not the person behind it or the people behind it or the, the God behind it, you know? Um, so I don’t know. I feel like that was a bit of a rant and maybe a little bit mumbled jumbled, uh, but. The reality is I think it’s easy to get worried about the tasks instead of, um, instead of the, the motive, you know, of like what, uh, what does God want me to do, or want me to learn, or want me to listen for in this moment?

That’s probably the better answer most of the time about we’re probably pretty focused on going to the tasks. More often 

Josh: than not as good. Um, as you were talking, this first kind of came into mind, this is Matthew seven and he says this, he says the same illustration a couple of times, um, the same con you know, idea or con.

Um, he says it again, I think in Matthew 25, where he talks about, um, the sheep and the goats separating the, you know, those on the left, those on the right. Um, I think it’s important for us to hear, because I think it speaks directly to, to this idea, you know, between Mary and Martha. Um, but this is, uh, Matthew seven.

Uh, starting at verse 21, it says, uh, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my father, who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesied in your name? Did we not do all these things for you? Do we not drive out demons?

And in your name perform many miracles. I don’t know about you, but. You got, uh, miracles and prophecy and demon driving, um, coming out of your resume, I’d be like, there’s probably just do probably like a Jesus fall. It was pretty crazy. Um, and then he hits you with it, right? Yeah. Verse 23. Then I will tell them plainly and here’s the keywords right here.

I never knew. Away from me and we will do hers. I never knew you. Um, yeah, you did all these great things then. Yeah. Going back to Andrew’s point as he was making it, like, yeah. You went to church, you gave to the church, you did all the right things. But I never knew you. You didn’t spend any time with me.

You didn’t sit at my feet like Mary, I didn’t know who you were. Uh, of course you don’t see lots of, we know that God knows everybody, but like from a relational standpoint, he didn’t know who you were. You, you never engaged. But 

Andrew: I think, wait, let me pause you there. Like you never gave me your heart, you know, like of course, God, he’s all knowing, but it’s like, you never chose.

You never chose to try to know me. You just did the things you thought you should do to check the boxes, you know? And you didn’t give me your heart. Of course, I know your heart. I’m God, you know, he’s God, but. If you don’t intentionally do that, like we have free will and we can choose to submit to God and to truly do that, or we can choose to fake it.

So everybody else around us thinks that, uh, for whatever reason, but yeah, man, I never knew you that’s like a ton of bricks. It would hit you like a ton of bricks. Would hit me like a ton of bricks, if that’s what well, it’s not 

Josh: like, and I think it should this too. It’s not like you don’t do things for God.

You know, James starts out with, you know, so that works is dead. Uh, You know? Yes. There’s, there’s things that we do for God, but it’s when we switch up the process and we switch up the works, come before faith works, coming for relationship with Jesus. There’s when we get ourselves into, in a messy waters.

And I’ll be honest with you. Like, just like these people, you’re probably going to stand one day before Jesus and be in complete shock. I was like, I thought I was doing all the right things. I thought I did him just like you wanted me to do. And he said, no, no, you, you did good things. Sure. But that’s not the point.

The point was relationship. The point was, did you put your faith in me and let me lead. Um, and, and that’s where we start to dig into, um, This fostering relationship with Jesus thing. Yeah. Like, I guess the question now becomes, if that’s the goal, we want to be like Mary, rather than Martha. Um, though Martha is in the kingdom, like we, we see through the store, we followed along.

Martha’s in deep love with, with Jesus and following Jesus and was a matriarchy to, to the faith early on. Um, and a leader in the church though. We don’t like to say that because women can’t be leaders in the church for Baptist. Um, I grew up SBC, so I can, I can make that joke, uh, SBC for those that didn’t grow up in the Baptist community, the Southern Baptist convention, no preach and preach and except on mother’s day.

And even then the men plug their ears, uh, sorry, 

Andrew: just taking shots. 

Josh: We love you all. We’re glad that you, um, but there’s that piece too, like, um, how do we practically foster relationship?

Andrew: Well, on the practical side, I’ll do this real quick because we’ve done it pretty fully, you know, we did a whole series or kind of early on called Jesus habits where we went through a lot of this, like in-depth, but, but it’s not the surprise. It’s not surprising things, you know, it’s. You shoot for daily in these things I shoot for daily.

I can’t say they’re all daily all the time, but it’s not about the exact checklist, right? It’s uh, it’s time in the word time in the Bible, listening, reading. Thinking about it, dwelling on it and doing so from a posture of like openness of like, God, what do you want to say to me? And, and not necessarily a posture of like, I just got to get through eight chapters today.

Um, because I’m on my. Six month Bible plan or one year Bible plan, you know, like that’s usually not the right approach to take because that’s checklist and that’s not, not hard stuff. That’s just head stuff. Like I want to get through this. I not, I want to experience whatever God might want to reveal to me.

So it’s time in the Bible because that is a great way. That God has revealed himself to us over time. You know, the record record recorded word of God. We don’t worship the Bible, but we use it as a great tool to understand the God we follow. So there’s that, aside from that, the other one, that’s not going to shock anybody.

Prayer, like spend time talking with God, spend time praying, um, pouring your heart out to him, just having simple conversations with them. Um, and then also the harder one for me, because like I said, I’m probably more of a Martha often than a Mary, uh, in the story. Thanks. Is it my clear, uh, nice eyes, um, today?

Um, yeah, the harder one for me man is, is not necessarily just praying because I can find myself like doing that while I do other things. But the, the harder side to prayer is, is quieting myself and listening, you know, like, God, do you want to say something to me? Do you want to guide me? Or do you want to.

Influenced me, like, what do you want to say? You know, and actually just like calming myself enough to be able to hear what God might want to say. Um, I would I’d consider that to be just as important as the actual things were speaking to God about. Um, and that’s definitely the one that’s harder for me to do is quiet down and listen.

Um, but that’s, that’s about quality time with God. Um, no, that’s good. 

Josh: Another one, man, before you go on. Yeah, go ahead. If you. Uh, if we, if we take this idea of relationships, relationship, relationship with people, human beings, face to face, same attributes exist in the relationship between us and God.

Granted God is the infinite being in all places at all times. Parts of relationship are hard there. I get that, but a lot of the aspects are still the same. So like if I go into a friendship and I talk all the time, we sit down, I asked them about their, their baby blue eyes and just how good it is to see them today.

Uh, and we just dig into conversation, but conversations, just me talking the whole time. I don’t even like take a breath in, let up for a moment and for them to get a word in and then. I was like, dude, really good to see your baby belies. See you next week. Um, no, our relationships can get, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We’re done a facade of relationship in all honesty. Like this happens with preachers, right? Their audience thinks they know the preacher really well. And they’re in this deep relationship because the preacher sharing intimate things about the life from the stage. But the reality is that pressure doesn’t know anything about you and relationships, two sided.

Um, so there’s, there’s that piece. That like, it can feel like relationship, but it’s not really relationship because there isn’t both sides interacting or giving to the relationship. Um, we just keep talking, but we don’t pause to listen at all. And, and it’s also, and I guess the other struggle I think for Christians is they don’t know if it’s God talking or not.

Right. Like they get into that real world. It’s like, yeah, I sit and listen, but he doesn’t seem to be saying it. Well, yeah, I think he’s probably is. Yeah, there’s a variety of reasons. Why he, you may not be hearing him. Um, one might be your don’t shut up enough to listen. Um, you’re just talking the whole time and you know, that’s the reason.

Um, to like, it’s a practice that has to be practiced, right? Like the first time you think you hear from God, um, you know, thank you, Jesus. We have his recorded word, so we have something to compare it to. So he’s like, Hey, I think you should to fix the situation. You should go slit the tires of your neighbor.

That’s that’s what I feel like Jesus has told. And then you’re like, well, does that align with what God’s already written? Cause he’s not going to contradict himself. And he’s like, well, he hasn’t written about tires before. Right? Fair. That’s true. But he’s written about neighbors about me. Let’s talk about that.

You know, is that loving your neighbor? It’s tough. Loving your neighbor, like is really loving your neighbor or is that just an excuse for you to be an ass? Let’s be honest. Um, like you’re just so say I make a joke about all that, but like there’s a key here to it of, you got to learn what voice God’s voice sounds like in your life, and it’s not necessarily.

Though the foundational principles are the same. It’s not necessarily true, um, the same way for everybody. Right. Um, so you can always go back to what God has said, and if it’s contradicting what’s in your head to what God has already said, then I would argue that’s not Jesus speaking. But if what he’s saying to you, doesn’t contradict, contradict, you know, scripture what’s already been recorded.

Um, and it’s still good. Like then should you. Well, I would argue then, you know, for lack, like say that’s Jesus speaking to you, whether it is or not, it’s still good. It’s not the enemy messing with you. It’s not, you know, going in scripture, if you’re really still can confuse, take it to a trusted friend that loves to use and loves you in that order and ask them like, here’s what I think Jesus is telling me.

What do you think? And they’d be like, well, I don’t think that’s what Jesus is telling you because of this, this, this, and this, or, Hey, I think Jesus might be telling this to you. I don’t know for sure, but it doesn’t contradict anything. I understand about Jesus. Um, and then you start moving down that road, the better you practice it, and the more you practice it, the better you’re going to get and knowing the whisper of God’s voice.

And for me, it’s a whisper. It’s not a big, booming voice. I think once in my life, do I ever feel like it was, you know, spoken in such a way to my soul, that it was like, you know, a moment stopping experience. Um, that’s happened maybe twice in my entire life. Typically it’s a whisper. I’m just like, it’s a whisper to, um, some of the prophets throughout the old Testament.

Uh, Sometimes it’s, you know, some, you know, those are our examples. Then we also have some examples in the new Testament, um, with some of the epistles, um, of how God has spoken to his people. Oftentimes it’s a whisper and you just got to learn to hear what that whisper is. Um, and to practice it, to spend time in silence, um, to listen to what God is saying.

Um, so you’re ready to go. I think so often it’s like, God, here’s my list of things. Answer them all really quick. Uh, I think these are all my answers it’s yes, yes, no, no. Yes. Maybe. Perfect. Move on. Go. You know, that’s not relationship like it’s not a special time in relationship. You got to spend time digging in.

And if it doesn’t seem like it’s working, there may be something wrong, then it’s worth asking a trusted friend. Hey, here’s how I think I’m foster relationship. It does seem to be working. Um, why am I going wrong? I made there’s past hurt or pass on forgiveness and you got to deal with, and that’s the reason you’re not hearing from Jesus.

Andrew: And to, to go in with that, I was going to say time in community with people who love Jesus and love you in that order. Like, we’ve talked about love the Lord, love you in that order, you know, it’s. It’s people who are going to be pushing you, calling you upward and calling you deeper in your relationship with the Lord.

Um, and oftentimes that comes out of community formed through your local church. That that for me is, is the best place to find people who love the Lord and love you, you know, so getting connected in your local church and, and doing that. Not just so you have like a network, like. I think people use churches and gyms and all these social hubs to like, get to know people so that, you know, you have somebody to sell stocks and bonds to, or health insurance, or you’re a real estate agent.

And you’re like, I want to, I want to sell your houses. You know, whatever. Like, no, if you’re going into church, there there’s people that do that in any social place, you know, it’s like I’m here to network and sell because of that. That’s not the point, like the point of, of Christian community is to do life alongside people.

That’s the, that’s the intent of the hope study is to take you to a place of deeper hope and real hope and real relationship with the Lord. But you do that alongside. It’s not meant to be a solitary study done, you know, at 6:00 AM alone every day, just for you with no discussion about it. That’s not the point.

Cause that’s, you know, your relationship with God relationship with man. Like those are the two things Jesus talked about when asked, what would the most important laws like Josh said, So would that being said, 

Josh: it’s not those communities. It’s not important being in the, yeah. The places people it’s not having, you know, Jesus conversations, even with other people, um, it’s being vulnerable and honest enough with who you really are, the good and the bad with the people around you.

Um, because the reality is I can know these people for 10 years. We could be in a small group together for 10 years every week. We only take like three weeks off a year. And for all the major holidays, other than that, we’re there. Um, and the reality is if they don’t know the real me and the things that they’re telling me, my name even apply to me because they’re telling the facade of me rather than the real me.

And we’ll get to this week, week six is feeling vulnerable. Um, and we’ll talk about what it means to be in real relationship with, with each other. How to, how do you actually have authentic community where people know the real you, the good and the bad and the ugly? Um, I was always like that saying the good, the bad and the ugly, because like, Yeah, that’s probably the reality of it.

Like there’s only, so there’s only 30 of you. That’s a really good, then there’s another third. That’s like, oh, okay. Uh, and then what is going on with you? Right? Like there’s that piece. Um, 

Andrew: yeah, but then, but let me say it, like, in those moments you realize like, oh, I’m not the only messed up one, you know? Um, I’m not the only one.

That is imperfect, actually, I don’t know any perfect people. And it’s really helpful to understand that and to lean on others who are stronger, where you’re weak and to invite people in to give you wise counsel when you need it, because man, you and I, Josh, we both think we know. Most everything most of the time, but when we’re humble enough to invite other perspectives in it’s only been official, you know, when you bought their property, at least I know I’m a little too prideful and quick to think that I know the right answer most of the time, but when I’m willing to invite others in to give me like godly counsel and just wise counsel, um, it’s only benefit.

But it’s not like a random stranger on the street that I’m asking advice from. It’s from somebody who loves God and loves me in that order. 

Josh: No. Um, 

Andrew: which year you’re one of those people in my life and it took years to cultivate, uh, a deep friendship and, uh, and a deep mutual trust. You know, it’s not a, yeah, it’s not an overnight thing.

Um, for sure. 

Josh: You can’t speed date into community can track well, and you can create a facade of it. Um, in all reality, like you, you can for sure create something that looks like it, but it’s not actually, it it’s, it’s just a facade that will come tumbling down at some point. Um, but like, so in our community is a part of hill city.

You know, we have guidelines that we function by. There’s I think there’s eight of them. Um, things like, you know, we create a safe space, you know, the things that are said in this group. Thank you, AA. The things that are said in this group stays in this group. We we’d asked for people. We want people to feel like it’s safe to share.

So don’t go around sharing what people have been. Um, even with other people in the group that aren’t around, um, like be careful in how you talk twice. Yeah. Um, we have other things like no fixing. Yeah. Um, so like when people do share something personal or struggle or a doubt that they may be having, there is a temptation, I think, especially in the Christian community, um, there’s a temptation to throw out my ideas to make it.

Um, and I, we just witnessed this a few weeks ago. Somebody shared something intimate about their relationship with Jesus and we all tried to help and try to fix it for him and all reality that doesn’t, that’s not the solution to the problem. And really bad advice was shared in that moment. Yeah. Um, some good advice was shared in the moment, but not helpful advice, uh, for that moment because the person just needs to sit in what was going on in their lives.

Um, so no, no fixing and the other ones, no rescuing, um, that comes into play. Um, like don’t, don’t jump in and make someone feel. About themselves. Like, let it just sit there. Um, oftentimes we try to make people feel better. They shut down and then we no longer, they’re no longer going to share. Um, we have things we have another guideline called, you know, use I statements.

Um, there was a weird pause use I-statements um, Uh, instead of us, they, the church, them guys, et cetera, like put, we want you to put yourself on the table, the real you, um, and these are all hard traits to live by. And because they’re not natural to us and especially not natural to us in Christian community, but this is how real vulnerability happens.

This is where people take the risk and the chance to share the real self and see how the group responds to it. And hopefully your groups in a healthy way, but it’s not going to be that way immediately. Like you’ve, you’ve got to keep pursuing relationship. You’ve got to keep pursuing, being honest because the first time you’re going to do it, isn’t going to go really well.

Maybe, probably. Like in all honesty, if you’re like, here’s what I’m really struggling with. Um, I’m going to let the real ugly part of me out right now. Um, there, there might be negative responses to that and you’ve gotta be okay with that. Um, doesn’t mean stop doing it. It doesn’t mean it’s not important to keep being the real you and sharing the really do.

Um, it just means that person wasn’t ready to be in that kind of relationship. You surprise them. Um, but keep pushing through it, find the people that want to be in that kind of relationship and do life with those people. Um, because. There’s an embrace community inside of us practicing Jesus habits or foster relationship with Jesus that we miss out on things with Jesus, because we haven’t embraced the community around us.

Right. Like, um, yeah. There’s parts of, you know, peace there’s parts of love. There’s parts of you name the, the, um, Fruit of the spirit that you won’t experience until you fully embrace the community around you. Um, you’ll just miss aspects of it that will make sense to you. It won’t be fully lived out. Like I think all to offer like, well, I can love my name.

You know, I love bill next door to me. I love my kids. And that’s really the only friends I have. I have some coworkers at work that I try to love, but none of them know me. Like I like none of them knowing you, you’re never going to get to a place where you’re fully going to embrace the, like who God’s created you to be.

Um, you’re fully not going to understand the truth that God is trying to impart to you because you’re not living his whole life. Right. You’ve got this. Well, I get up every morning. I spend time with Jesus. Um, so I got the love God down. Right. Um, but yeah, I love people. Sure. I love them from a distance with a lot of protection and, and big high walls.

So I feel safe. Um, but oftentimes you’re gonna feel really lonely. And then you’re going to wonder why God hates you because you just chose not to do it his way. You chose to do it your own way and take control back rather than trying to foster a relationship with Jesus. And without those, like he commanded.

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah. Hey man. My, my final thought that you just sparked that I hope is practical and helpful to well, it’s, it’s helpful to me. Um, and I hope it’s helpful to anybody else thinking about this. Um, This life like let’s honor that the Olympics just happened. Um, you know, summer Olympics watched a lot of good track and field.

The reality man, like this life, this relationship with the Lord, this Jesus life, it is a marathon and not a sprint and you should always be going into it assuming it’s marathon. And the reason I say that is. Like you, I mean, you, and I don’t know when, when we’re going to die, we don’t know how long our lives are going to be.

It could be a sprint for some people, it could be like accepting Christ and then boom, like you get in a car wreck or whatever, but assume it’s a marathon. And, uh, and man, maybe you’ve been following Jesus for a while and, and you’re listening to us talk and you’re like, yeah, I only live in the task side.

I haven’t actually given my heart over at all. Um, well, you’re in a marathon. You’re not in a a hundred meter dash. Um, the race isn’t done in the moment that you realized that you haven’t been perfect up till now. Guess what? I haven’t been perfect up until now. Josh, hasn’t been perfect up until now.

Nobody living today has been. Um, and that’s the beautiful thing is that there’s real grace that God wants to give you to to course correct. And probably. The peace of God’s voice that we miss so often might be those moments where we’ve identified. Just now, you know, Hey, this thing in my life has just been task-oriented, there’s been no relationship to it with the Lord.

There’s been no heart given up to it. Um, it’s only task. That’s a way that God speaks. He gently says. Like, here’s something you didn’t know, like let’s start working on this, let’s start like, give your heart to me in this. Um, that’s the way God speaks. And we often just think it’s like, oh, I read this book and this quote jumped out at me or this preacher preached a sermon in that happened.

Or I flipped on this podcast and they said, this thing, it’s like, no, The reason that stuck with you is because God was just like, Hey, I’m going to use that voice, that article, that word, whatever in your mind. And I’m going to start to grab your heart a little bit with it. So if you’re listening to us, our point is not discouragement.

This is the hope study. Like if you’re hearing this and some of it’s resonating with you. There’s a, there’s a chance to change, like God, and God’s going to be there to offer you the hands to, to lead that change. So, um, it’s a good marathon. It’s one that is filled with grace, um, for when we stumble. So, 

Josh: yeah.

And my, my party thoughts kind of along the same line is like, you’ve got to foster both types of yeah. Relationships, right. You got to live out the whole great commandments. You got to foster relationship with with God and you have to foster relations with people. Um, and that’s the model that Jesus created for us, for our sanctification.

Yeah. Um, our process of becoming more like him. Oh yeah. For more fruits of the spirit to be true in stronger ways of our lives. Um, without one of those two, you end up in weird places. Like we explained the one, but on the other side is you could focus completely unrelated. And start to remove God from the equation.

Even Christians that know God, um, search to remove that equation. Maybe you’ve been in these kinds of groups, these, these fantastic accountability groups, where everybody is really honest with each other about their struggles and where they’re at and shares the, the lack of a better term shit of their life, um, to get to those places.

Um, but there’s no God in the equation, I’m not foster relationship with Jesus. So I’m trying to still lead the process of dealing with, with ugly sin of my life, destruction of my life, unloving, you know, attributes of my life. I’m trying to deal with all those things with the people around me, and then it just becomes this, uh, we all suck shit, shit.

And we’re just like sharing with each other, like all the bad things, but nothing ever changes about it. Six months down the road, we’re sharing the same stupid struggles again. It’s because we, we didn’t foster a relationship with Jesus, Jesus lead the process, right? Like if we really want to have hope in this life, we want to have hope regardless of I have a job, regardless of what I’m able to provide for my family, regardless if, um, my ego is still intact, regardless of all these different things.

If you want to still have hope that Jesus is still on his. Like, you’ve got to foster both sides of it and you got to let Jesus lead the process. Um, I can’t go in and say, here’s the 50 things that I got to deal with in my life. One that’s over overwhelming, uh, to, um, the chances that you’re going to be able to deal with.

A lot of those things slim to none, because there’s 50 there for a reason. You haven’t dealt with them up to this point. Um, what things it’s going to change? Three getting other people into that process, doesn’t actually fix any of those things. Yes. It gets them out there that that has some effect to some extent.

Um, but it was really gonna dig at the real issues of those things until Jesus enters into that picture and starts to deal with that list for you. You’ll find that a lot of those things on that list are intertwined with each other and they’ll get dealt with, you know, around the same time. You’ll realize you got to deal with certain things.

Before you can deal with other things, um, as Jesus walks you through that process, but you’ve got to let them lead the process. And when you take back control and say, I’m going to deal with these 50 things and Jesus is no longer in control of the process. Yeah. That’s where hope starts to dwindle or diminish.

Nope. That’s not a word diminish. There we go. Um, that’s where it starts to diminish because you’re like, God, I’m trying to do all these things for you. I’m trying to stop doing this. And I’m trying to stop doing that. And I’m trying to start to do this and I’m not doing anything. These things I’m much a suck as a person, or you just hate me.

And then we start to spiral. Right. Fricking that’s all. You know, toilet bowl starts to spin and you’re like, well, God is in control of it, everything, but he does as he be controlled with this thing. So it’s all God’s fault. And we go down, this really spent spiral and you know, we’re down in the, down with the turds at that point.

Uh, no one wants to be down with the turds. Um, that’s not the life that we want to live and we want to be in the place that Jesus is leading. That we’re fostering relationship with Jesus. We want to be, um, where Jesus is and we want to be like, Sitting at his feet, listening to his stories, listening to them, lead a men, direct our path with other believers, surrounded around us that know us who know the real, who we are.

Um, the good, the bad, and the ugly, just like Jesus knows the real, who we are, the good, bad, and the ugly. And I’m vulnerable in both those types of relationships. Um, I’m just gonna be. The good and the bad and the ugly. Um, but that is a relationship on censored our job in the equation because Jesus took care of everything and is going to keep taking care of everything is to foster relationship with Jesus practice, those Jesus habits.

Um, if you go to our website, this Jesus life go to series, you can listen to the four episodes of those Jesus habits. We talk about them in more detail on how we practically practice those things. Um, dig into those things. I’ve listed them in a while. Hopefully they’re still good. If not, um, Blake.

The old Jesus, that podcast will be took over. Um, that’s not true. That never happened, but Hey, thanks for listening, Andrew. I know you gotta run, buddy. I just saw this message and it’s like 17 minutes old. Um, and by the way, I do know when I’m going to die. I’m going to die in 2066. Um, that’s my year, um, which seems like a really hard time for now.


Andrew: start with that story next. Perfect 

Josh: date as always my friend and those shiny 

Andrew: blue eyes. Good to see you, man. It’s good to have him seen. All right. Talk to you later, man. Thanks for listening to our show. It really means a lot to us and we hope that it helps bring you closer in your relationship with Jesus and with 

Josh: others.

And it also helps us out. If you rate our podcast or leave us a review on whatever platform you’re listening on and also follow us on Instagram and the Facebook. Now sharing this with your friends, isn’t just to get the word out of the podcast. We believe that we have the message of hope that’s found in the gospel of Jesus Christ and you sharing.

This has the ability to transform the lives of the people around you. 

Andrew: We want to hear. You can email You can message us on Facebook and Instagram, or you can just visit But seriously, thanks for that. .

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